Apparently, I have a very stubborn cervix.
I'm tired.
And I want to meet our daughter.
Bottom line: it's going to be a repeat c-section. I'm okay with it. We're both okay and we have the time to go in without rushing. I've done this before. It's not my ideal, but in the end, it's what needs to be done.
Do I feel like a failure? I don't think so. I got the chance to try, and I stuck with what I knew I wanted. In the end, it's all about what's right for the two of us. The doc was very frank with me, as having had a previous c-section definitely limits my time allotment, in terms of how long they will let me labor on the Pitocin, as opposed to someone who hasn't had a prior C.
Okay, maybe I'm not completely okay with it, but I will be. I feel like this time around I at least gave myself a chance, and that's all I can really ask of myself. I think it comes down to this: I was fine and handling the contractions well, and all of a sudden I felt...not myself. A bit disoriented, a bit sick, definitely tired. I took a 30 minute nap and it helped, but the fact that there is an end in sight makes me feel better than any nap or medicine or words. Part of what makes me feel better about this choice is that I don't feel backed into a corner, and I know what I'm about to do. The other nice thing is that my doc is the one who will be able to do the birth -- that's a tremendous source of comfort to me, rather than having an unknown on-call doctor digging around my insides.
Doc says we'll likely go in around 4-4:30, and my hope is to have some pix and an update up here later this evening. So I'll tell all of you what I told my husband: go get something to eat, relax, and check back in later.
Thanks again, one and all, for your kind words and unfailing support. See you on the flip side...
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9 comments:
Well, it was a good try and that is what matters! You'll get to meet you new little one soon and like you said there is an end in site. Let me just say well done and pre-congrates!
Hi Sissy!! I love you and am thinking about you and the bean!! Lots of love and prayers!!
Hey, the little one is really comfortable in there & doesn't want to come out. Can't say I blame her for that. (I have this silly image of her dodging the monitor and holding your cervix in place.)
Hahaha. I was having the same images as Cait! I think the bean is holed up in a nice warm place and will only come out kicking and screaming.
Can't wait to see the pictures. I know she'll be adorable. And feisty. Like her mom. Gotta love that in a little girl.
Well.. you did give it a try like you wanted it to be but I guess she had other plans on how she wanted her arrival to be. I hope that everything goes well in the delivery. Update us when she's born and you feel like blogging again. :D
Trying is what counts and at least it will be over soon and you'll have that sweet baby in your arms. Cant wait to see pics.
Just looking for an update... I hope everything is ok!
Okay, I am trying to be patience but now I am just starting to worry a tad bit...I am sure all went well and you are just resting/enjoying you new little one but, I am on the edge of my seat waiting to hear anything from the not often silent Kate. Love ya girl!
Glad to know I'm not the only one checking back so often. Hope things are going Ok!
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