Friday, March 28, 2008

From The Heart...

Among the many reasons I have a deep-seated appreciation for John Mayer is his ability to articulate so much of what goes on in his head. When I read his words, I often find myself relating so well to him; there's a kinship there that is unexplainable.

I wish I could just have him over to my house for dinner one night. I'd probably serve something Italian (lasagna maybe, or baked ziti, green beans and garlic bread) and we'd pop open a bottle of Beringer White Zinfandel. I'd pause the conversation only to offer dessert and tuck my daughter into bed. I would hope that even though dinner was at six, we'd talk until 3AM because we'd relate that well, and I'd pick his brain about everything from songwriting to politics to neuroses large and small.

By the time we looked at the clock, it would be too late for him to drive home, so I'd offer him our guest room and fresh towels, set the coffeepot for the next morning, and retire to my own room to sleep next to my husband.

It's what any self-respecting member of JM's housewife contingent would do.

Excerpts from his latest blog:

This is about a level of self consciousness so high in my generation, that it's actually toxic.

This is about us all. Every one of us. Who all seem to know deep down that it's incredibly hard to be alive and interact with the world around us but will try and cover it up at any cost. For as badass and unaffected as we try to come off, we're all just one sentence away from being brought to the edge of tears, if only it was worded right.

We were promised we could be anything that we wanted to be, if only we believed it and then, faster than we saw coming, we were set loose into the world to shake hands with the millions of other people who were told the exact same thing.

And really? Really? It turns out we're just not all that special, when you break it down. Beautifully unspectacular, actually. And that truth is going to catch up with us whether we want to run from it or not... It's just a matter of how old you are once you embrace that fact. And for me, 30 sounds about right.

What now, then? I can only really say for myself: Enjoy who I am, the talents and the liabilities. Stop acting careless. In fact, care more. Be vulnerable but stay away from where it hurts. Read. See more shows. Of any kind. Rock shows, art shows, boat shows. Create more art. Wear hoodies to dinner. Carry a notebook and hand it to people when they passionately recommend something and ask them to write it down for me.

Root for others.

Give more and expect the same in return, but over time.

Act nervous when I'm nervous, puzzled when I don't know what the hell to do, and smile when it all goes my way. And never in any other order than that.

And when it's all over, whether at the end of this fabulous career or of this life, which I hope takes place at the same time, I should look back and say that I had it good and I made the most of it while I was able. And so should you.

JM's in Japan, clearing his head. I'm in the T.C., trying to think of a way to get myself through the next six weeks. Six weeks until the end of my first year in law school. Damn, that was fast.

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

Oh, I hear you. I'd love to do the dinner thing myself. Especially after reading that post, which I immediately then showed my shrink (who also loved it).

I don't know how he got like that at 30 when I am about to hit that age and am a confused mess who can't figure out jack shit any more. Part of me wants to go "Hi, please be my sensei, teach me your Ways of the Force, or whatever you call it."

I have to say, I am truly sorry that due to my lack of fame, I'll never meet the dude and get that opportunity. Though saying that makes me sound like one of those horrible screaming teenage fangirls and then I hate myself for sounding like a bimbo :P