Showing posts with label this state of mind. Show all posts
Showing posts with label this state of mind. Show all posts
Friday, May 7, 2010
A Tribute To Nashville
Will the circle be unbroken, by and by Lord, by and by?
There’s a better home a-waitin’ in the sky, Lord, in the sky…
They don’t call Nashville “Music City USA” for nothing. Music is the lifeblood of this beautiful jewel of the Smoky Mountains, the one that sits astride the mighty Cumberland River. It’s never silent in Nashville, because even the wind through the trees is musical. The music never stops.
It’s not just country music either. Nashville is absolutely the undisputed country music capital of the world, but all are welcome. Nashville has a fantastic classical music scene, and they play both bluegrass and the blues down in The District.
The mighty Cumberland overran its banks last week, and so did Old Hickory Lake. The flood was the worst the area has seen since the Civil War. People died. Homes were destroyed. This was a true act of nature; there were no faulty levees or the Army Corps of Engineers to blame, simply a freak act of God, wrought upon a musical city in the mountains. It seems incomprehensible that the music could be silenced, but for a brief moment, it looked possible.
The waters are receding, and the people are picking themselves up by their quiet pride and their bootstraps, as Tennesseans tend to do. The heartache will not fade for a long time. The music is quieter than normal right now, but the city’s heart still beats, like a timpani struck ever so gently.
Symphony Hall itself was spared. But it took 18 feet of water into its basement, destroying rehearsal space, the console for its organ, and two hand-built, hand-selected Steinway grand concert pianos, along with countless other instruments. The amount of structural damage is unknown as yet.
The Country Music Hall of Fame took on water in its basement, losing hardwood floors and ceiling tiles, and its theatre flooded over the stage and up to the third row. The main rotunda and the artifacts were guarded during the flood by a dedicated team of curators, who managed to save just about everything.
The Grand Ole Opry House, home of the Grand Ole Opry, was flooded through the backstage and loading areas, and the auditorium filled with water. The entire performance/stage area, along with about 3/4 of the main floor was underwater. The Opry House sits at the edge of the Cumberland, next to the Opryland Hotel and Opry Mills Mall, both of which sustained severe damage and high water flooding. All three facilities are closed until further notice.
BB King’s is closed. Many businesses are unsure of their re-opening strategy. Fear of mold and loss of housing are real threats to the livelihood of Nashvillians, musical or not.
Those who did not experience loss have opened their doors and hearts to the displaced. The Station Inn survived unscathed, and its website exhorts folks to “pitch in and help if and when you can.” The Bluebird Cafe, a haven for up and coming songwriters, closed for two days but is now re-opened, and the music plays.
The orchestra is playing a concert tonight for free, outside Nashville’s City Hall. The music will play on.
The Hall of Fame is drying out, and plans to reopen soon. The music will play on.
The Ryman Auditorium, 119 years old, stands strong and dry on Fifth Avenue. The Opry will move back to the Mother Church of Country Music, its historic home, until further notice. The Opry will be broadcast as usual this weekend (tonight and Saturday) on WSM 650 AM. The music will play on.
And this Sunday, in churches across Davidson, and Williamson, and Sumner, and Robertson, and Cheatham and Rutherford Counties, choirs will sing and prayers will raise that the damage wasn’t worse, and that Nashville will survive. The music will be heard.
In the face of chaos, there are moments of optimism in Nashville. Of all places, when the country has bigger fish to fry and a failed terrorist bomb in Times Square is a far sexier story, Nashville is taking care of its own. Somehow, I would expect nothing less. Let the music play on, and be heard.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
In Defense of Girl Scout Cookies
Who knew these time-honored traditional Lent-busters were so controversial?
Honestly...I never thought twice about this. Who wouldn't want to support the Girl Scouts? Cookie sales are the organization's most lucrative and well-known fundraiser, and in a time when philanthropy and non-profit community organizations are floundering, it's more important than ever to support the causes we need the most.
Bea is in her first year of Girl Scouts. Like her mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother before her, she is learning the Law and Promise, earning badges and yes, selling cookies. Some things have changed since my Gram was a Depression-era Scout: the uniforms and levels have been changed to be more compatible with today's girls, camping and badges are secondary to leadership skill development (but are still an integral part of Scouting) and troops are no longer massive (my Junior troop once boasted 38 girls and one leader. Bea's troop is 11 girls and 3 leaders.)
Some things haven't changed, though. Scouts places an emphasis on honesty and self-reliance, the motto is still Be Prepared. The girls still salute with three fingers and end each meeting in a friendship circle, singing "Make New Friends." Some of my fondest memories involve my Brownie and Junior troops. I never went to Scout camp, but my First Aid badge came in handy the first summer at church camp, when I was called upon to hold a bandage in place while a friend ran to get a counselor after an unfortunate incident involving an Exact-o knife in the arts & crafts hut.
When Bea asked to become a Girl Scout, my heart leaped for joy. Not only would we have a fourth-generation Scout in our family, it meant an automatic hookup for the world's best treat: Girl Scout cookies! The Boy actually told me recently that when I was pregnant with Bea, the first thing he thought of when he saw the ultrasound and heard the tech's pronouncement of "a little girl" was Girl Scout Cookies.
My girl rolled 350 boxes this sale, and I did a turn as the Cookie Mom. Yes, we bought 22 boxes of cookies just for our family. The Boy and I put in separate orders. We don't share. He believes in immediate consumption, I believe in freezing them and making them last as long as possible. We have common ground (Tagalongs), and divergence (Thin Mints are my favorite, Samoas are entirely his province).
This was my first year as a Cookie Mom, and while the process has evolved from a large worksheet and manual EVERYTHING into Excel spreadsheets and an online tracking tool, it means that for the past 4 months or so, I have been running a business that yielded almost $5,000 in sales. Not bad for 11 first graders, eh?
The girls earned roughly %650 this year from cookie sales for their troop. With that money, our little first graders are going to plant flowers in the school garden, organize a clean-up for the fields and a neighborhood rec center, go to the children's museum, and have a day at the water park. They will also buy some of their Brownie supplies for next year and participate in an all-school bridging ceremony. And they chose those activities themselves. They came up with the ideas, they made the goals.
The Scouts have recently been criticized for selling cookies. I've heard it all: the national Movement takes most of the profits and leaves little for the troops, the girls are exploited, the cookies are horrible for you, they are falsely advertising "zero trans fat", and in a day and age where Jamie Oliver is crusading against the pitiful excuse for food we serve to our kids through the national school lunch program, we are putting our daughters on the street to pimp, of all things, sugary chocolate treats, laden with sodium, sugar and fat.
Let me address these concerns:
1. Cookies cost about $3.50 a box. Of this, about $0.55 goes directly to the troop that sells the cookies.
2. About $2.00 goes to support the work of the local Council. This may sound like bureaucracy, but the Council is what makes so many of the Scout programs available, and cookie money keeps our camps up, running, maintained and staffed. It pays for safety and leader training, and funds scholarships for girls who can't afford the annual membership fee of $12.
3. About $0.11 per box pays for the girls' sale incentives. Badges, cookie credits, stuffed animals, and other swag.
3. The bakers get about $0.84 per box to cover the cost of the cookies.
This info comes directly from my cookie manager guide book. You'll notice that no money goes to the national movement. They get their own grants from places like the United Way. They do high-end fundraising. Why? Because they sponsor research and develop leadership programs. The national movement maintains relationships with international scouting organizations, advises on policy positions, and upholds the legacy of Juliette Gordon Lowe, the founder of American Girl Scouting. They do great work, but the girls aren't pushing cookies to support them. Likewise, cookie sales are voluntary. Troops and girls decide whether or not to participate.
As for the other claims, well, I honestly can't say. "Zero trans fat" is a claim that can be made when there is less than a certain amount of trans fat per serving. It probably is a misnomer. I can't say, I didn't do the science in figuring out that claim. Likewise, I agree that it seems incongruous to have our kids pedaling treats when we're fighting an obesity epidemic. But here's my answer to that: let's use this opportunity not only to teach leadership, goal-setting and entrepreneurship, but also moderation. I see no problem with showing the girls what a serving of Samoas is (three cookies, if you must know), and saying hey - eat healthy, and treat yourself in moderation. A few cookies here and there, well balanced with healthy whole foods (and hopefully a glass of fat-free milk or ice water) can be a great treat. Perhaps that's the model they should learn, not "eat a whole box in one sitting." (Admit it. You've done it. We all have.)
Look, I'm as guilty as the next American when it comes to overindulging. It's a battle I have fought my entire life. I'm working on it. I want to learn to garden, and I want to reduce my family's dependence not only on processed food, but on corporate groceries overall. I want to source local fresh foods, grow some of our own, and really examine what goes on our plates and where it comes from. I also want to look at how far our food has to travel. Why are we getting grapes from Chile in December? Why are my strawberries coming from California, when I know they are in season in Minnesota?
I'm also realistic enough to know that a big sea change within my family still leaves parts of the shore intact: we will inevitably have occasion to grab fast food; we will certainly have temptations to overcome. But part of being healthy is balancing those things out. Nobody's perfect, not even Jamie Oliver.
But we can all sure as hell do our best.
The Girl Scout Law
I will do my best to be
honest and fair,
friendly and helpful,
considerate and caring,
courageous and strong, and
responsible for what I say and do;
and to
respect myself and others,
respect authority,
use resources wisely,
make the world a better place,
and be a sister to every Girl Scout.
Honestly...I never thought twice about this. Who wouldn't want to support the Girl Scouts? Cookie sales are the organization's most lucrative and well-known fundraiser, and in a time when philanthropy and non-profit community organizations are floundering, it's more important than ever to support the causes we need the most.
Bea is in her first year of Girl Scouts. Like her mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother before her, she is learning the Law and Promise, earning badges and yes, selling cookies. Some things have changed since my Gram was a Depression-era Scout: the uniforms and levels have been changed to be more compatible with today's girls, camping and badges are secondary to leadership skill development (but are still an integral part of Scouting) and troops are no longer massive (my Junior troop once boasted 38 girls and one leader. Bea's troop is 11 girls and 3 leaders.)
Some things haven't changed, though. Scouts places an emphasis on honesty and self-reliance, the motto is still Be Prepared. The girls still salute with three fingers and end each meeting in a friendship circle, singing "Make New Friends." Some of my fondest memories involve my Brownie and Junior troops. I never went to Scout camp, but my First Aid badge came in handy the first summer at church camp, when I was called upon to hold a bandage in place while a friend ran to get a counselor after an unfortunate incident involving an Exact-o knife in the arts & crafts hut.
When Bea asked to become a Girl Scout, my heart leaped for joy. Not only would we have a fourth-generation Scout in our family, it meant an automatic hookup for the world's best treat: Girl Scout cookies! The Boy actually told me recently that when I was pregnant with Bea, the first thing he thought of when he saw the ultrasound and heard the tech's pronouncement of "a little girl" was Girl Scout Cookies.
My girl rolled 350 boxes this sale, and I did a turn as the Cookie Mom. Yes, we bought 22 boxes of cookies just for our family. The Boy and I put in separate orders. We don't share. He believes in immediate consumption, I believe in freezing them and making them last as long as possible. We have common ground (Tagalongs), and divergence (Thin Mints are my favorite, Samoas are entirely his province).
This was my first year as a Cookie Mom, and while the process has evolved from a large worksheet and manual EVERYTHING into Excel spreadsheets and an online tracking tool, it means that for the past 4 months or so, I have been running a business that yielded almost $5,000 in sales. Not bad for 11 first graders, eh?
The girls earned roughly %650 this year from cookie sales for their troop. With that money, our little first graders are going to plant flowers in the school garden, organize a clean-up for the fields and a neighborhood rec center, go to the children's museum, and have a day at the water park. They will also buy some of their Brownie supplies for next year and participate in an all-school bridging ceremony. And they chose those activities themselves. They came up with the ideas, they made the goals.
The Scouts have recently been criticized for selling cookies. I've heard it all: the national Movement takes most of the profits and leaves little for the troops, the girls are exploited, the cookies are horrible for you, they are falsely advertising "zero trans fat", and in a day and age where Jamie Oliver is crusading against the pitiful excuse for food we serve to our kids through the national school lunch program, we are putting our daughters on the street to pimp, of all things, sugary chocolate treats, laden with sodium, sugar and fat.
Let me address these concerns:
1. Cookies cost about $3.50 a box. Of this, about $0.55 goes directly to the troop that sells the cookies.
2. About $2.00 goes to support the work of the local Council. This may sound like bureaucracy, but the Council is what makes so many of the Scout programs available, and cookie money keeps our camps up, running, maintained and staffed. It pays for safety and leader training, and funds scholarships for girls who can't afford the annual membership fee of $12.
3. About $0.11 per box pays for the girls' sale incentives. Badges, cookie credits, stuffed animals, and other swag.
3. The bakers get about $0.84 per box to cover the cost of the cookies.
This info comes directly from my cookie manager guide book. You'll notice that no money goes to the national movement. They get their own grants from places like the United Way. They do high-end fundraising. Why? Because they sponsor research and develop leadership programs. The national movement maintains relationships with international scouting organizations, advises on policy positions, and upholds the legacy of Juliette Gordon Lowe, the founder of American Girl Scouting. They do great work, but the girls aren't pushing cookies to support them. Likewise, cookie sales are voluntary. Troops and girls decide whether or not to participate.
As for the other claims, well, I honestly can't say. "Zero trans fat" is a claim that can be made when there is less than a certain amount of trans fat per serving. It probably is a misnomer. I can't say, I didn't do the science in figuring out that claim. Likewise, I agree that it seems incongruous to have our kids pedaling treats when we're fighting an obesity epidemic. But here's my answer to that: let's use this opportunity not only to teach leadership, goal-setting and entrepreneurship, but also moderation. I see no problem with showing the girls what a serving of Samoas is (three cookies, if you must know), and saying hey - eat healthy, and treat yourself in moderation. A few cookies here and there, well balanced with healthy whole foods (and hopefully a glass of fat-free milk or ice water) can be a great treat. Perhaps that's the model they should learn, not "eat a whole box in one sitting." (Admit it. You've done it. We all have.)
Look, I'm as guilty as the next American when it comes to overindulging. It's a battle I have fought my entire life. I'm working on it. I want to learn to garden, and I want to reduce my family's dependence not only on processed food, but on corporate groceries overall. I want to source local fresh foods, grow some of our own, and really examine what goes on our plates and where it comes from. I also want to look at how far our food has to travel. Why are we getting grapes from Chile in December? Why are my strawberries coming from California, when I know they are in season in Minnesota?
I'm also realistic enough to know that a big sea change within my family still leaves parts of the shore intact: we will inevitably have occasion to grab fast food; we will certainly have temptations to overcome. But part of being healthy is balancing those things out. Nobody's perfect, not even Jamie Oliver.
But we can all sure as hell do our best.
The Girl Scout Law
I will do my best to be
honest and fair,
friendly and helpful,
considerate and caring,
courageous and strong, and
responsible for what I say and do;
and to
respect myself and others,
respect authority,
use resources wisely,
make the world a better place,
and be a sister to every Girl Scout.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Working Girl
I knew this time would come, eventually.
I have an interview (my first real, professional job interview in over five years) on Tuesday. I'm very excited, actually...while I have reservations about going back to work while still finishing up school, it's time to start beefing up the resume and the house fund.
We're incredibly lucky; I'm incredibly lucky to have been able to be a mom and student the last three years. I didn't have to work during school, or my pregnancy, and I've been home with Elle since she was born. My husband works for a fantastic company who treats its employees well, and he has been noted by his supervisors as someone with a great deal of potential for advancement. The distinction there is that he's actually taken advancing steps; it's not just talk. His job, combined with my school & degree are huge reasons for us to stay in the Cities after I graduate.
I've been thinking a LOT about going back to work. There are lots of reasons to go back, and a lot of other reasons that tell me to be cautious when selecting which jobs for which to apply. One of the advantages to having professional experience and an advanced degree is that I can be relatively picky. I'm not a new grad in the "22 and a liberal arts bachelor's degree" sense; while I'll be a new lawyer, it's still not the absolute ground floor of an adult career. I'm also eternally grateful to have that experience (life and job) on my side; I can't imagine that my decisions are the same as a coltish, single 25 year old law grad. (I'm also thinking my foray into the law will last longer than it takes to pay off my loans, realize my bliss and open a cupcake bakery. Which, really? Sounds pretty damn good at times.)
I'm also a LOT older than I was when I graduated from college, and along with my experience, I have a family to think about.
In preparation for my interview, I've jotted down a few of the things I'm looking for in a job.
1. Enough money. This may sound like a no-brainer, but if the cost of day-care for Elle and before/after care for Bea, plus the cost of commuting, parking, dry-cleaning & the other requirements of a job aren't at least covered by my wage, I can't take that job. While my husband makes wonderful money, the fact is that we're on a budget and it's an unnecessary strain on the family for me to spend money on a job.
2. Flexible hours. This is a pipe dream, but ideally I want to start back slow: around 20-25 hours a week. Ideally lumped as 2-3 solid days per week. Getting used to a commute and a morning routine is going to be tough enough, plus I am still in school. I still need time to study and prep for class. I'd love to work "mom" hours so that I can still put Bea on the bus in the morning and then be home for her in the afternoon. (This would also avoid before-after care costs.)
3. Geographically convenient. I'd like to work on my side of the Metro area. Elle's current babysitter is close to downtown, and we both adore her. She's agreed to take Elle on for than her current 1-2 days a week if I go back to work, and I really want to avoid putting Elle in a day-care center just yet.
I'll probably write more on this later...but for now, if you are reading this, take a moment and send a few good thoughts my way on Tuesday. Most especially that I don't kill myself in my new Calvin Klein heels. (Haven't worn heels this high in a VERY long time. Will be practicing in the house this weekend.)
I have an interview (my first real, professional job interview in over five years) on Tuesday. I'm very excited, actually...while I have reservations about going back to work while still finishing up school, it's time to start beefing up the resume and the house fund.
We're incredibly lucky; I'm incredibly lucky to have been able to be a mom and student the last three years. I didn't have to work during school, or my pregnancy, and I've been home with Elle since she was born. My husband works for a fantastic company who treats its employees well, and he has been noted by his supervisors as someone with a great deal of potential for advancement. The distinction there is that he's actually taken advancing steps; it's not just talk. His job, combined with my school & degree are huge reasons for us to stay in the Cities after I graduate.
I've been thinking a LOT about going back to work. There are lots of reasons to go back, and a lot of other reasons that tell me to be cautious when selecting which jobs for which to apply. One of the advantages to having professional experience and an advanced degree is that I can be relatively picky. I'm not a new grad in the "22 and a liberal arts bachelor's degree" sense; while I'll be a new lawyer, it's still not the absolute ground floor of an adult career. I'm also eternally grateful to have that experience (life and job) on my side; I can't imagine that my decisions are the same as a coltish, single 25 year old law grad. (I'm also thinking my foray into the law will last longer than it takes to pay off my loans, realize my bliss and open a cupcake bakery. Which, really? Sounds pretty damn good at times.)
I'm also a LOT older than I was when I graduated from college, and along with my experience, I have a family to think about.
In preparation for my interview, I've jotted down a few of the things I'm looking for in a job.
1. Enough money. This may sound like a no-brainer, but if the cost of day-care for Elle and before/after care for Bea, plus the cost of commuting, parking, dry-cleaning & the other requirements of a job aren't at least covered by my wage, I can't take that job. While my husband makes wonderful money, the fact is that we're on a budget and it's an unnecessary strain on the family for me to spend money on a job.
2. Flexible hours. This is a pipe dream, but ideally I want to start back slow: around 20-25 hours a week. Ideally lumped as 2-3 solid days per week. Getting used to a commute and a morning routine is going to be tough enough, plus I am still in school. I still need time to study and prep for class. I'd love to work "mom" hours so that I can still put Bea on the bus in the morning and then be home for her in the afternoon. (This would also avoid before-after care costs.)
3. Geographically convenient. I'd like to work on my side of the Metro area. Elle's current babysitter is close to downtown, and we both adore her. She's agreed to take Elle on for than her current 1-2 days a week if I go back to work, and I really want to avoid putting Elle in a day-care center just yet.
I'll probably write more on this later...but for now, if you are reading this, take a moment and send a few good thoughts my way on Tuesday. Most especially that I don't kill myself in my new Calvin Klein heels. (Haven't worn heels this high in a VERY long time. Will be practicing in the house this weekend.)
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Jumping on the Blog Train
Two very good friends have recently picked up their blogs again, both of which you should go and read immediately here and here. I'll wait.
Sigh.
I don't want to blog about not blogging, so I won't. I'm taking these two friends' blogs as a sign that I should probably commit more to the written word than I have in recent memory. Suffice to say the last six months or so have been INSANE on so many fronts. (I'm certain these stories will come out in more detail as I write more.)
Family-wise, Bea joined Girl Scouts, and I am currently serving as an assistant leader/cookie mom. She continues with her swimming lessons,and has been taking music classes on Saturdays at a private music school here in the Cities. She now wants to pick up violin and piano, and knows big words like diatonic and pentatonic.
We spent Christmas in the hometown with my mom, sister, her fiance, my sister-in-law, my in-laws and a mess of friends. We were home for a solid week, dodging snowstorms and doing our best to not buy into holiday insanity. However, we were staying at my mother's house. Insanity is inherent under that particular roof.
The girls had their birthdays - Bea turned seven (and I did write her a letter - I may back-post it later) and little Miss Elle (aka "The Jedi Baby") turned a YEAR old. I wrote her a letter too - if I post Bea's, I'll post Elle's.
We landed at home for a day and a half before I jetted off to Vegas with Mara & Abbie to meet up with Cait for the most amazing New Year's Eve of my life. Bar none. I have seriously not had that much fun with a group of girls in AGES. Chicago in 2008 was fun, but this? Ridiculous. Utterly amazing. I don't know whether it was the setting, or whether it was the company (probably both), but that trip changed my life. I found the other three of my four... Mara, Abbie & Cait are my compass points, North, South and West to my East. I am thankful to the Universe for having Mara local to me - I would have wept the entire plane ride home if I'd had to do it alone.
Of course, John Mayer was involved, because the whole point of that trip was to see the Trio at the Hard Rock on NYE. A while back, I made a list of concerts I had to see before I died...JM3 was on that list - and...check. I was probably 15 feet away from the stage, maybe 3 people back in a GA crowd that was damn near suffocating. The concert itself should be a separate blog entry. The trip...indescribable.
So now, here I sit...the baby is napping and I have law homework to do, and the daily grind is once again upon me. I'm over at Twitter quite a bit - you can see my twitfeed in the left column, but as many have said before me, 140 characters aren't always enough. Trying to remember that.
Sigh.
I don't want to blog about not blogging, so I won't. I'm taking these two friends' blogs as a sign that I should probably commit more to the written word than I have in recent memory. Suffice to say the last six months or so have been INSANE on so many fronts. (I'm certain these stories will come out in more detail as I write more.)
Family-wise, Bea joined Girl Scouts, and I am currently serving as an assistant leader/cookie mom. She continues with her swimming lessons,and has been taking music classes on Saturdays at a private music school here in the Cities. She now wants to pick up violin and piano, and knows big words like diatonic and pentatonic.
We spent Christmas in the hometown with my mom, sister, her fiance, my sister-in-law, my in-laws and a mess of friends. We were home for a solid week, dodging snowstorms and doing our best to not buy into holiday insanity. However, we were staying at my mother's house. Insanity is inherent under that particular roof.
The girls had their birthdays - Bea turned seven (and I did write her a letter - I may back-post it later) and little Miss Elle (aka "The Jedi Baby") turned a YEAR old. I wrote her a letter too - if I post Bea's, I'll post Elle's.
We landed at home for a day and a half before I jetted off to Vegas with Mara & Abbie to meet up with Cait for the most amazing New Year's Eve of my life. Bar none. I have seriously not had that much fun with a group of girls in AGES. Chicago in 2008 was fun, but this? Ridiculous. Utterly amazing. I don't know whether it was the setting, or whether it was the company (probably both), but that trip changed my life. I found the other three of my four... Mara, Abbie & Cait are my compass points, North, South and West to my East. I am thankful to the Universe for having Mara local to me - I would have wept the entire plane ride home if I'd had to do it alone.
Of course, John Mayer was involved, because the whole point of that trip was to see the Trio at the Hard Rock on NYE. A while back, I made a list of concerts I had to see before I died...JM3 was on that list - and...check. I was probably 15 feet away from the stage, maybe 3 people back in a GA crowd that was damn near suffocating. The concert itself should be a separate blog entry. The trip...indescribable.
So now, here I sit...the baby is napping and I have law homework to do, and the daily grind is once again upon me. I'm over at Twitter quite a bit - you can see my twitfeed in the left column, but as many have said before me, 140 characters aren't always enough. Trying to remember that.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Sick
Holy BALLS do I hate it when people in my family get sick.
The kids, I can deal with. Seriously. Bea puts on the usual six year old drama and gets some palliative care (ice packs, Tylenol, fluids, naps, extra Disney Channel) and she's fine. She also gets contact sick -- whenever anyone else is sick, so is she. I have very little tolerance for the princess routine regardless of her place on the homeostatic scale, and getting sick is usually no more than an excuse for getting extra attention and spoilage.
Little Elle on the other hand, hasn't had so much as a sniffle in the past six months. Seriously. Aside from a little cold and some teething pain/fever, she's been healthy as a horse since she was born.
I am not allowed to get sick. I get something that knocks me on my ass about once every 3-4 years. I take my Advil/Benadryl/Robitussin, take a hot shower and drink some tea, go to bed and die for about 12 hours, get up and I'm fine. I don't abide getting sick. I get pissy when people in my house are sick.
And then there's The Boy.
My normally lovely, wonderful husband is horrible to be around when he's sick. He won't take anything, and he won't do anything. He just sits, waiting to get better. He'll take baths, he'll take naps, but he won't do anything to actively cure himself. It's up to me to force fluids, to buy the home remedies, to make him take them, and to get him better.
The worst is when Bea and the Boy are sick at the same time. As is the case right now. Holy crap, but do they feed off each other! Drama, thy name is Thompson. Would you like some cheese with your whine?
I came home to find everyone still in their pajamas, everyone on the couch, the baby in yesterday's outfit, lazy and lethargic, and nothing done. I don't know what it is about this combination that makes me fly into high gear, but I do. Without fail. Every. Single. Time. I turned off the tee vee, took everyone's temperature, determined that my husband was warm (probably from laying around in his bathrobe all day, Bea was slightly warmer (99.3, probably the same, but a gentle diet and some Pedialyte and extra fluids for good measure) and Elle was clearly on the mend (100.5, but happy and playing, an improvement over 101.7 and lethargic last night).
I don't know what it is in the maternal DNA that doesn't abide rest and laziness when sick. Perhaps it's jealousy: the world doesn't stop when I'm sick, so why should it stop for them? Perhaps it's also a lack of understanding: I don't get sick, ever, so I can't relate to what it's like. I don't know what it's like to have allergies or have to take more than a multi-vitamin each day to live normally.
I am grateful and thankful that everyone seems to just have a touch of whatever's going around, that it's not worse, and that they are all on the mend. I'm also thankful that my girls seemed to have inherited my constitution, as neither of them have ever gotten more sick than a 48 hour virus or an ear infection.
But dammit, it still bothers me.
In other news: I either threw my best 800 since 2007 in the pool yesterday, or I shorted myself a lap. I think I shorted myself, but I was still happy with the result. I added a timed lap on the end, and still came out just a hair under 20 minutes. This was a huge improvement over Thursday, and I swam continuously, where on Thursday I had to take breaks. Holla!
In further news, we got this lovely little treat via Twitter earlier this week. All I have to say is... droooool...
The kids, I can deal with. Seriously. Bea puts on the usual six year old drama and gets some palliative care (ice packs, Tylenol, fluids, naps, extra Disney Channel) and she's fine. She also gets contact sick -- whenever anyone else is sick, so is she. I have very little tolerance for the princess routine regardless of her place on the homeostatic scale, and getting sick is usually no more than an excuse for getting extra attention and spoilage.
Little Elle on the other hand, hasn't had so much as a sniffle in the past six months. Seriously. Aside from a little cold and some teething pain/fever, she's been healthy as a horse since she was born.
I am not allowed to get sick. I get something that knocks me on my ass about once every 3-4 years. I take my Advil/Benadryl/Robitussin, take a hot shower and drink some tea, go to bed and die for about 12 hours, get up and I'm fine. I don't abide getting sick. I get pissy when people in my house are sick.
And then there's The Boy.
My normally lovely, wonderful husband is horrible to be around when he's sick. He won't take anything, and he won't do anything. He just sits, waiting to get better. He'll take baths, he'll take naps, but he won't do anything to actively cure himself. It's up to me to force fluids, to buy the home remedies, to make him take them, and to get him better.
The worst is when Bea and the Boy are sick at the same time. As is the case right now. Holy crap, but do they feed off each other! Drama, thy name is Thompson. Would you like some cheese with your whine?
I came home to find everyone still in their pajamas, everyone on the couch, the baby in yesterday's outfit, lazy and lethargic, and nothing done. I don't know what it is about this combination that makes me fly into high gear, but I do. Without fail. Every. Single. Time. I turned off the tee vee, took everyone's temperature, determined that my husband was warm (probably from laying around in his bathrobe all day, Bea was slightly warmer (99.3, probably the same, but a gentle diet and some Pedialyte and extra fluids for good measure) and Elle was clearly on the mend (100.5, but happy and playing, an improvement over 101.7 and lethargic last night).
I don't know what it is in the maternal DNA that doesn't abide rest and laziness when sick. Perhaps it's jealousy: the world doesn't stop when I'm sick, so why should it stop for them? Perhaps it's also a lack of understanding: I don't get sick, ever, so I can't relate to what it's like. I don't know what it's like to have allergies or have to take more than a multi-vitamin each day to live normally.
I am grateful and thankful that everyone seems to just have a touch of whatever's going around, that it's not worse, and that they are all on the mend. I'm also thankful that my girls seemed to have inherited my constitution, as neither of them have ever gotten more sick than a 48 hour virus or an ear infection.
But dammit, it still bothers me.
In other news: I either threw my best 800 since 2007 in the pool yesterday, or I shorted myself a lap. I think I shorted myself, but I was still happy with the result. I added a timed lap on the end, and still came out just a hair under 20 minutes. This was a huge improvement over Thursday, and I swam continuously, where on Thursday I had to take breaks. Holla!
In further news, we got this lovely little treat via Twitter earlier this week. All I have to say is... droooool...
Monday, September 14, 2009
Just The Way You Are
I got a comment on an old entry a few days ago, from an anonymous reader. They wrote: "...every time I hear about love like the one that you have, I can do nothing but wish that I could have the same...one day."
It's true. I'm crazy in love with my husband, and even though there are times we've faltered and failed each other, there are just as many times we've redeemed and uplifted each other. We've made babies together, we've made a life together. With any luck and huge effort, we'll grow gray and wrinkled together too. We have lived with, through, and for each other for almost half our lives. His smile is my comfort, his arms are my home.
Thank you, dear reader, for your kind words.
It's not our anniversary. It's not his birthday, or my birthday, or whatever. This song is for my Boy, just because I am so in love with him, it's not even funny.
Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore
I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are
Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care
I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are.
I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you.
I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are.
It's true. I'm crazy in love with my husband, and even though there are times we've faltered and failed each other, there are just as many times we've redeemed and uplifted each other. We've made babies together, we've made a life together. With any luck and huge effort, we'll grow gray and wrinkled together too. We have lived with, through, and for each other for almost half our lives. His smile is my comfort, his arms are my home.
Thank you, dear reader, for your kind words.
It's not our anniversary. It's not his birthday, or my birthday, or whatever. This song is for my Boy, just because I am so in love with him, it's not even funny.
Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore
I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are
Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care
I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are.
I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you.
I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Celebration Anxiety
This past week was amazing and anxiety-inducing all at the same time. How on Earth was I going to start watching what I eat right before a holiday weekend, with my sister visiting, a wedding, a couple of lunch meetings, sending Bea off to school, and any number of other factors and issues?
By just doing it, that's how.
Life happens. There will ALWAYS be weddings and funerals and birthdays and celebrations and life events, and using them as an excuse to start "next week" or have a "bad day" is lame. Here is where I draw inspiration from Sooz: the girl drinks and socializes to her heart's content. She eats (essentially) whatever she wants, within reason. She balances her socializing with training like a mad woman and also being careful about her eating: if she has a sushi dinner date planned, she will eat gently the rest of the day to accommodate. If she wants a crazy insane cheeseburger, she works out to cancel out the intake. She's never minced words about that. If our law school tribe asks her to go out to lunch and we're going somewhere incompatible with her plan for that day, she simply declines. We all know it's not personal with Sooz...while we love her company, and she ours, we just get it. It's not personal to us; it's personal to her, and we all have priorities. I think law school has desensitized us to taking things personally; I am far more likely to take a "no" at face value and move on than ever before.
And so, thinking about Sooz, I approached last week by eating gently whenever nothing was planned, and trying not to worry too much about situations like Jon & Julia's wedding last Saturday, or the State Fair, or whatever. I hate denying myself when I'm out! What's the point of going to a wedding if you're going to feel guilty about eating wedding cake and boozing up the groom? (For the record, I probably need to temper this attitude a *little*. Fuzzy navels all night and three(!) pieces of wedding cake might be considered a little excessive, but I only did one tequila shot with the groom. Only one! And I do love myself the tequila. PATRON, baby!) I also did a little mitigation by choosing the vegetarian plated dinner, which turned out to be a delicious butternut squash ravioli with leeks and a very light cream sauce. NOM.
As for the State Fair, well... let's be frank: there was no temperance there. None can be had, I'm convinced. The choice then, is to go once a year and get it out of your system, and give yourself the day to enjoy, or to not go at all.
My goal for last week was to eat breakfast every day, and I'm proud to say I did it. I hauled the blender out, and when I didn't have breakfast plans, I made a 5-Factor Smoothie for myself, following Harley Pasternak's recipe (below). I plan to continue this, as it really worked for me. Smoothies are quick, portable and tasty, and have enough natural sugar in the fruit to sate my sweet tooth.
Mara had to work late last Thursday, so we put off our weigh-in until Saturday evening (last night), before we went out for her birthday(which...awesome! Donny Dirk's Zombie Den gets two thumbs up, and Psycho Suzi's lives up to its reputation.)
The Results
Last week's weight: 288.0
This week's weight: 285.6
Weekly change: -2.4
Net change: -2.4
Not bad for a busy, social week!
This week's goals: continue with the smoothies/breakfast, and exercise a total of 180 minutes. That's 3x an hour-long workout, or 6x 30 mins, or most likely, 2 hour-long sessions and 2 30 minute sessions. I'm going to make it a point to get baby Elle in the stroller and go for a nice long walk a couple times this week, and we have found a new babysitter, and the school pool opens this week for fall hours, so SWIMMING!
By just doing it, that's how.
Life happens. There will ALWAYS be weddings and funerals and birthdays and celebrations and life events, and using them as an excuse to start "next week" or have a "bad day" is lame. Here is where I draw inspiration from Sooz: the girl drinks and socializes to her heart's content. She eats (essentially) whatever she wants, within reason. She balances her socializing with training like a mad woman and also being careful about her eating: if she has a sushi dinner date planned, she will eat gently the rest of the day to accommodate. If she wants a crazy insane cheeseburger, she works out to cancel out the intake. She's never minced words about that. If our law school tribe asks her to go out to lunch and we're going somewhere incompatible with her plan for that day, she simply declines. We all know it's not personal with Sooz...while we love her company, and she ours, we just get it. It's not personal to us; it's personal to her, and we all have priorities. I think law school has desensitized us to taking things personally; I am far more likely to take a "no" at face value and move on than ever before.
And so, thinking about Sooz, I approached last week by eating gently whenever nothing was planned, and trying not to worry too much about situations like Jon & Julia's wedding last Saturday, or the State Fair, or whatever. I hate denying myself when I'm out! What's the point of going to a wedding if you're going to feel guilty about eating wedding cake and boozing up the groom? (For the record, I probably need to temper this attitude a *little*. Fuzzy navels all night and three(!) pieces of wedding cake might be considered a little excessive, but I only did one tequila shot with the groom. Only one! And I do love myself the tequila. PATRON, baby!) I also did a little mitigation by choosing the vegetarian plated dinner, which turned out to be a delicious butternut squash ravioli with leeks and a very light cream sauce. NOM.
As for the State Fair, well... let's be frank: there was no temperance there. None can be had, I'm convinced. The choice then, is to go once a year and get it out of your system, and give yourself the day to enjoy, or to not go at all.
My goal for last week was to eat breakfast every day, and I'm proud to say I did it. I hauled the blender out, and when I didn't have breakfast plans, I made a 5-Factor Smoothie for myself, following Harley Pasternak's recipe (below). I plan to continue this, as it really worked for me. Smoothies are quick, portable and tasty, and have enough natural sugar in the fruit to sate my sweet tooth.
Mara had to work late last Thursday, so we put off our weigh-in until Saturday evening (last night), before we went out for her birthday(which...awesome! Donny Dirk's Zombie Den gets two thumbs up, and Psycho Suzi's lives up to its reputation.)
The Results
Last week's weight: 288.0
This week's weight: 285.6
Weekly change: -2.4
Net change: -2.4
Not bad for a busy, social week!
This week's goals: continue with the smoothies/breakfast, and exercise a total of 180 minutes. That's 3x an hour-long workout, or 6x 30 mins, or most likely, 2 hour-long sessions and 2 30 minute sessions. I'm going to make it a point to get baby Elle in the stroller and go for a nice long walk a couple times this week, and we have found a new babysitter, and the school pool opens this week for fall hours, so SWIMMING!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
First Day of First Grade
So the school bus came and picked Bea up this morning, and I am officially the mother of a first grader. Child, weren't you born about a month ago?
My sister visited this past weekend and brought her new guy with her. He's very nice, polite, good sense of humor and is absolutely head over heels for her. He's good people, and after all she's been through, a Nice Guy is absolutely what she deserves. We had a wild and crazy 48 hours, including boating on the St. Croix with Kate and a trip to the State Fair.
Oh my, the State Fair. Where food on sticks reigns supreme. I think I consumed enough fat for a month. My only saving grace is all the walking around we did, which probably burned up about half the calories we ate. Seriously: french fries, fried cheese on a stick, cheese curds, hot dogs, hamburgers, cheesecake on a stick, footlong corndogs on a stick, Sweet Martha's Cookies (a bucket full!), lemonade, cotton candy, funnel cake... you name it. We didn't get to try the pot roast sundae or the Nacho Mama, and we saved the hotdish on a stick for next year. But oh my God... I am going to spend the next two days in detox. Fortunately, I think I reigned myself in well enough the rest of the week.
Jon & Julia also got married this weekend, and I ate 3 pieces (yes, three, seriously) of wedding cake (and it was delicious!) and got delightfully drunk at the reception. Oh, alcohol...you are so tasty and intoxicating going down, and so caloric two days afterward...big props to Kate for bringing me home, as I was not in any shape to drive. Needless to say, the wedding feast will be a factor on Thursday as well.
All in all, it was a really wonderful weekend, spent with friends and family, enjoying life and living out loud. I love our life in Minnesota; we have more friends and are more social, our kids are thriving, and I'm beginning to see beyond what brought us here (law school) and what will keep us here. It's starting to feel like home, and though I'll always remember my hometown fondly, and will visit often (as I have friends and memories there as well), I'm starting to picture my girls growing up here, and imagining what that might look like.
I like what I'm starting to see.
My sister visited this past weekend and brought her new guy with her. He's very nice, polite, good sense of humor and is absolutely head over heels for her. He's good people, and after all she's been through, a Nice Guy is absolutely what she deserves. We had a wild and crazy 48 hours, including boating on the St. Croix with Kate and a trip to the State Fair.
Oh my, the State Fair. Where food on sticks reigns supreme. I think I consumed enough fat for a month. My only saving grace is all the walking around we did, which probably burned up about half the calories we ate. Seriously: french fries, fried cheese on a stick, cheese curds, hot dogs, hamburgers, cheesecake on a stick, footlong corndogs on a stick, Sweet Martha's Cookies (a bucket full!), lemonade, cotton candy, funnel cake... you name it. We didn't get to try the pot roast sundae or the Nacho Mama, and we saved the hotdish on a stick for next year. But oh my God... I am going to spend the next two days in detox. Fortunately, I think I reigned myself in well enough the rest of the week.
Jon & Julia also got married this weekend, and I ate 3 pieces (yes, three, seriously) of wedding cake (and it was delicious!) and got delightfully drunk at the reception. Oh, alcohol...you are so tasty and intoxicating going down, and so caloric two days afterward...big props to Kate for bringing me home, as I was not in any shape to drive. Needless to say, the wedding feast will be a factor on Thursday as well.
All in all, it was a really wonderful weekend, spent with friends and family, enjoying life and living out loud. I love our life in Minnesota; we have more friends and are more social, our kids are thriving, and I'm beginning to see beyond what brought us here (law school) and what will keep us here. It's starting to feel like home, and though I'll always remember my hometown fondly, and will visit often (as I have friends and memories there as well), I'm starting to picture my girls growing up here, and imagining what that might look like.
I like what I'm starting to see.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Starting Over (Again)
As I mentioned in my last post, I'm restarting my efforts to lose weight. The fact is that I've been fat my entire adult life, and not much has changed that. However, I've never been this fat before, and it has really hit home with me. I can't train the way I want to, I hurt in places I shouldn't, and I'm far too young to be this disenchanted. I should love the way my body looks, feels and moves, and to be brutally honest, I never have. I don't know what it feels like.
But I want to find out.
I can't afford to go back to Weight W@tchers, and I wasn't thrilled with the leader I found here. She always emphasized "size" and "clothes" and yes, those things are important, but for someone like me, emphasis on health and good habits are far more motivating.
We're constantly bombarded with information on diet, and yet we're all still fat. I've come to the conclusion that it all comes down to the basics: portion control, exercise, eating whole foods and practicing everything in moderation, including moderation. In other words, yes, you must cheat in order to succeed. But then, it's not cheating, is it?
This may sound overly complicated, but I'm planning to do a combination of Biggest Loser, WW, Five-Factor and Insulin Resistance, taking the best of each of those programs and making it work for my situation. And I'm going to blog it, because I do well when I am accountable, and writing is my release. I don't want to turn this into a weight loss blog, any more than I wanted to turn it into a pregnancy blog or a law school blog or a triathlon blog or a "whatever" blog. It is meta, but that's okay, because it's me, and this is what I happen to be doing right now.
My dear friend and fellow fangirl Mara and I are doing this together. We are meeting on Thursday nights and she started a notebook for us with goals and weight. Each week, we'll walk two miles or so, and weigh in on her scale (hers is better than mine). I will post my weight and goal, for all the world and Internet to see, because it's embarrassing and public, and what I need to do.
So then. It begins.
The Program and Mission Statement:
I will(loosely) follow the P0ints program to measure food intake. I will watch calories, but I will also listen to my body and eat deliberately, stopping when full and fueling when hungry. I will balance my meals in order to track carbs. I will eat my fruits and veggies and drink my water. I will rest, and I will train.
I will turn to my friends and my blog in times of trouble. I will revel in my successes, and find resolve in my failures. There will be both. I will use the joy of cooking to learn how to fuel my body.
WEEK ONE
Weight: 288.0
Goal: Eat breakfast every day this week, without fail. This is a hard thing for me, as I've never been a breakfast eater. However, I have adopted Harley Pasternak's 5-Factor Smoothie as my breakfast of choice, and it is both tasty and quick.
But I want to find out.
I can't afford to go back to Weight W@tchers, and I wasn't thrilled with the leader I found here. She always emphasized "size" and "clothes" and yes, those things are important, but for someone like me, emphasis on health and good habits are far more motivating.
We're constantly bombarded with information on diet, and yet we're all still fat. I've come to the conclusion that it all comes down to the basics: portion control, exercise, eating whole foods and practicing everything in moderation, including moderation. In other words, yes, you must cheat in order to succeed. But then, it's not cheating, is it?
This may sound overly complicated, but I'm planning to do a combination of Biggest Loser, WW, Five-Factor and Insulin Resistance, taking the best of each of those programs and making it work for my situation. And I'm going to blog it, because I do well when I am accountable, and writing is my release. I don't want to turn this into a weight loss blog, any more than I wanted to turn it into a pregnancy blog or a law school blog or a triathlon blog or a "whatever" blog. It is meta, but that's okay, because it's me, and this is what I happen to be doing right now.
My dear friend and fellow fangirl Mara and I are doing this together. We are meeting on Thursday nights and she started a notebook for us with goals and weight. Each week, we'll walk two miles or so, and weigh in on her scale (hers is better than mine). I will post my weight and goal, for all the world and Internet to see, because it's embarrassing and public, and what I need to do.
So then. It begins.
The Program and Mission Statement:
I will(loosely) follow the P0ints program to measure food intake. I will watch calories, but I will also listen to my body and eat deliberately, stopping when full and fueling when hungry. I will balance my meals in order to track carbs. I will eat my fruits and veggies and drink my water. I will rest, and I will train.
I will turn to my friends and my blog in times of trouble. I will revel in my successes, and find resolve in my failures. There will be both. I will use the joy of cooking to learn how to fuel my body.
WEEK ONE
Weight: 288.0
Goal: Eat breakfast every day this week, without fail. This is a hard thing for me, as I've never been a breakfast eater. However, I have adopted Harley Pasternak's 5-Factor Smoothie as my breakfast of choice, and it is both tasty and quick.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Answer
I see so much pain in the eyes of so many. I wonder sometimes what I will do with this big fancy education I'm working on. I worry that sometimes my pursuit is futile, because sometimes you can only help people who want help. Sometimes the people who need it most don't know it.
All I can do is be there. I don't know if I can give any answers, but I can be there.
I will help, if only they ask.
I will be the answer
At the end of the line
I will be there for you
While you take the time
In the burning of uncertainty
I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance
If you can't look down
If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all gone out
You'll still be burning so bright
Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind
Take me to a
Place so holy
That I can wash this from my mind
The memory of choosing not to fight
If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
'Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all burned out
You'll still be burning so bright
Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind
-Sarah McLachlan, "Answer"
All I can do is be there. I don't know if I can give any answers, but I can be there.
I will help, if only they ask.
I will be the answer
At the end of the line
I will be there for you
While you take the time
In the burning of uncertainty
I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance
If you can't look down
If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all gone out
You'll still be burning so bright
Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind
Take me to a
Place so holy
That I can wash this from my mind
The memory of choosing not to fight
If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
'Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all burned out
You'll still be burning so bright
Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind
-Sarah McLachlan, "Answer"
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Sweet Baby James
Because I did it for her sister yesterday, and because she's always on my mind. This one's for sweet baby Elle. I'm a big believer in singing "real" songs to kids, not just lullabies and kid music. It has its place, for certain, but in the car and on the stereo at home, we listen to Mom's Music. And that is not just John Mayer, but 10,000 Maniacs, Pearl Jam, Dixie Chicks, the Cities Sampler, Sara Barielles, and yes, James Taylor. The song was written as a lullaby for JT's nephew and namesake, and it has always been a favorite of mine. When Elle responded to it, it became special on a completely different level.
This vid is nice because you get to hear the story of JT's nephew, the original "ornery little varmint" named baby James.
There is a young cowboy, he lives on the range.
His horse and his cattle are his only companions;
He works in the saddle and he sleeps in the canyons,
Waiting for summer, his pastures to change
And as the moon rises, he sits by his fire,
Thinking about women and glasses of beer;
And closing his eyes as the dogies retire,
He sings out a song which is soft but it's clear, as if maybe someone could hear.
Goodnight, you moonlight ladies; rockabye sweet baby James...
Deep greens and blues are the colors I choose;
Won't you let me go down in my dreams?
And rockabye sweet baby James.
Now the first of December was covered with snow,
And so was the turnpike from Stockbridge to Boston.
Lord, the Berkshires seemed dreamlike on account of that frosting,
With ten miles behind me and ten thousand more to go...
There's a song that they sing when they take to the highway,
A song that they sing when they take to the sea,
A song that they sing of their home in the sky—
Maybe you can believe it if it helps you to sleep,
But singing works just fine for me...
So, goodnight, you moonlight ladies; and rockabye sweet baby James
Deep greens and blues are the colors I choose;
Won't you let me go down in my dreams?
And rockabye sweet baby James.
This vid is nice because you get to hear the story of JT's nephew, the original "ornery little varmint" named baby James.
There is a young cowboy, he lives on the range.
His horse and his cattle are his only companions;
He works in the saddle and he sleeps in the canyons,
Waiting for summer, his pastures to change
And as the moon rises, he sits by his fire,
Thinking about women and glasses of beer;
And closing his eyes as the dogies retire,
He sings out a song which is soft but it's clear, as if maybe someone could hear.
Goodnight, you moonlight ladies; rockabye sweet baby James...
Deep greens and blues are the colors I choose;
Won't you let me go down in my dreams?
And rockabye sweet baby James.
Now the first of December was covered with snow,
And so was the turnpike from Stockbridge to Boston.
Lord, the Berkshires seemed dreamlike on account of that frosting,
With ten miles behind me and ten thousand more to go...
There's a song that they sing when they take to the highway,
A song that they sing when they take to the sea,
A song that they sing of their home in the sky—
Maybe you can believe it if it helps you to sleep,
But singing works just fine for me...
So, goodnight, you moonlight ladies; and rockabye sweet baby James
Deep greens and blues are the colors I choose;
Won't you let me go down in my dreams?
And rockabye sweet baby James.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
In The Pain, There is Healing
I was all set to write a fun little entry about my girls; about their general adorablenesses and proclivities, a little compare and contrast of two little people who share parents and blue eyes but not much else. Even a couple of months in, I can already tell: they are two distinctly different people. They look nothing alike, they have two different temperaments, two totally different personalities. They are both feisty in their own ways: Bea is gregarious and outspoken, unapologetic and demonstrative. Elle, on the other hand, is quieter and more laid back. I remember Bea being a very shy toddler; she's grown into her extroversion. I wonder if Elle will do the same, but it wouldn't surprise me if her temperament won't sway to the "strong but quiet" side of the spectrum.
But that's not what's on my mind this morning.
I'm thinking about the fact that we're supposed to have upwards of six inches of snow on the ground starting any minute now.
Bea starts her Level 2 swimming lessons tonight; hoping the weather won't cancel them. Also thinking about the fact that I need to run to the store, and should probably do that before the snow gets bad.
And what I'm procrastinating writing about is the fact that I got an email from my dad yesterday, asking if he could come visit over spring break. He is one of the things I don't write about much. I'm sure anyone who has read my blog long enough or knows me and has talked to me for any length of time realizes what a source of conflict and hurt he's been in my life. I've been working with a counselor in the last year or so to get my head straight, and in doing that I've gained a lot of perspective on my life and capabilities. I've learned to be strong and honest, because if I am anything less, I am hurting myself, and my family in the process.
I wrote this to him (excerpted):
As for visiting... I understand that you miss us, but I need to be honest with you here: I'm not sure about it. The fact is that right now I'm not very confident in our relationship -- such as it is. As I've told you before, I've gotten through a lot of anger and resentment toward you and your actions. I don't know if you know exactly how badly your actions hurt all of us, and it's not as simple as saying "sorry, guys" and picking right back up. This is a big piece of the fallout resulting from your choices, and it is something you are going to have to live with for awhile...
I don't know if you've figured out that it's been over a year since we even talked on the phone, and June will be two years since we've seen each other. I am not sure that a visit is in my deck of cards just yet. If there's something you can tell me to change my mind, the floor's open. I've been open and honest with you regarding my feelings - brutally so, because it's the only way I can function. I need you to return that honesty, without pulling punches or using semantics or worrying about being proper or tactful. I want to find some way of having a meaningful relationship with you, but I can't do it unless I know your side of the story.
I'm listening.
But that's not what's on my mind this morning.
I'm thinking about the fact that we're supposed to have upwards of six inches of snow on the ground starting any minute now.
Bea starts her Level 2 swimming lessons tonight; hoping the weather won't cancel them. Also thinking about the fact that I need to run to the store, and should probably do that before the snow gets bad.
And what I'm procrastinating writing about is the fact that I got an email from my dad yesterday, asking if he could come visit over spring break. He is one of the things I don't write about much. I'm sure anyone who has read my blog long enough or knows me and has talked to me for any length of time realizes what a source of conflict and hurt he's been in my life. I've been working with a counselor in the last year or so to get my head straight, and in doing that I've gained a lot of perspective on my life and capabilities. I've learned to be strong and honest, because if I am anything less, I am hurting myself, and my family in the process.
I wrote this to him (excerpted):
As for visiting... I understand that you miss us, but I need to be honest with you here: I'm not sure about it. The fact is that right now I'm not very confident in our relationship -- such as it is. As I've told you before, I've gotten through a lot of anger and resentment toward you and your actions. I don't know if you know exactly how badly your actions hurt all of us, and it's not as simple as saying "sorry, guys" and picking right back up. This is a big piece of the fallout resulting from your choices, and it is something you are going to have to live with for awhile...
I don't know if you've figured out that it's been over a year since we even talked on the phone, and June will be two years since we've seen each other. I am not sure that a visit is in my deck of cards just yet. If there's something you can tell me to change my mind, the floor's open. I've been open and honest with you regarding my feelings - brutally so, because it's the only way I can function. I need you to return that honesty, without pulling punches or using semantics or worrying about being proper or tactful. I want to find some way of having a meaningful relationship with you, but I can't do it unless I know your side of the story.
I'm listening.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Ash Wednesday 2009
In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread till thou return unto the ground, for out of it wast thou taken; for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.
Genesis 3:19
So. Usually for Lent, if one observes it, one must give up something enjoyable for the 40 days of the season. It is a time of reflection and sacrifice, and the idea is to remember what Christ did for us in sacrificing his life for our salvation. It is a recognition of blessings, and a denial of self. A mechanism in humility.
Now, Holy Mother Church doesn't run my life, but I once heard a priest say that he thought Lent was more about self improvement than it was about self-sacrifice. Rather than hurting and feeling pain, he said, a better way to celebrate Lent is to pick an area of your life to improve, and work diligently at it for those 40 straight days.
I like that idea.
Since I've neglected this blog since Elle's birth, I have decided that I will write every single day during Lent. It might be a blurb, it might be a song lyric, it might be nothing at all. But I will write. Blogging means so much to me and it really does help me stay grounded, and I've let that get away in the last few months. It also gets me going; part of my routine last semester was to try and blog or write down some thoughts before I studied. It helped me focus and clear my mind, and that's something that needs to happen more often, especially with the unpredictability of having an infant in the house.
Genesis 3:19
So. Usually for Lent, if one observes it, one must give up something enjoyable for the 40 days of the season. It is a time of reflection and sacrifice, and the idea is to remember what Christ did for us in sacrificing his life for our salvation. It is a recognition of blessings, and a denial of self. A mechanism in humility.
Now, Holy Mother Church doesn't run my life, but I once heard a priest say that he thought Lent was more about self improvement than it was about self-sacrifice. Rather than hurting and feeling pain, he said, a better way to celebrate Lent is to pick an area of your life to improve, and work diligently at it for those 40 straight days.
I like that idea.
Since I've neglected this blog since Elle's birth, I have decided that I will write every single day during Lent. It might be a blurb, it might be a song lyric, it might be nothing at all. But I will write. Blogging means so much to me and it really does help me stay grounded, and I've let that get away in the last few months. It also gets me going; part of my routine last semester was to try and blog or write down some thoughts before I studied. It helped me focus and clear my mind, and that's something that needs to happen more often, especially with the unpredictability of having an infant in the house.
Monday, February 2, 2009
32 Days of Ketchup
Okay wow! I just broke my own non-blogging record, and in a big, big way. Of course, I have a tremendous excuse for doing so, since I did the following:
1. Gave birth (and liveblogged it, which I will likely import over here when/if time permits);
2. Recovered from said birth (and still doing so for another ten days; post-partum is officially 42 days long according to the doc);
3. Started back to school;
4. Got the Girl started back to school;
5. Survived the usual January blast of Minnesota arctic chill; and
6. Watched the Steelers win the Super Bowl!
So I've had a busy month!
The birth itself went about as well as I could have expected, considering I had a repeat c-section. I liveblogged it and will probably eventually take that blog down and import everything over here so it can be properly archived.
School (so far) is going well. There are ups and downs to my current schedule. The major plus is that I only have ONE (yes one!) written final this term, for Evidence. I am told it's a major pain, so I will likely take as much time as I need to study for it and then take it when I'm ready. Another major plus: two of my classes are done either shortly before Easter or shortly after it, and these are the classes that meet on the weekend days this term. Score! I can handle two classes on Friday if that's the only day of the week I have to sit in class.
Downside? TWO major writing projects (a motion brief and a paper) and a mock trial to run for Trial Advocacy. I suppose it could be worse -- but it just means that each week I will have a LOT of prep work, rather than pacing through 14 weeks of reading and outlining, then 3 weeks of final crunch.
And then I'm HALFWAY done with law school! How'd that happen, y'all??
I'm sure there's more... like how the baby likes it when I sing Paul Simon and James Taylor ("Me and Julio Down By The Schoolyard" is a favorite) and how geeked I am that things are looking up in terms of a new JM album this year. I still wish I could have gone on MCC2, but I'll deal. After all, if there is a tour coming up this fall, then Santa will know what to leave in my stocking. And I STILL need to get my autographed copy of Continuum framed and hung in the baby's room.
Until then, it's me doing my thing: studying when the baby sleeps, typing one-handed when she doesn't, looking forward to longer, warmer days and enjoying the sunshine when we get it.
I must say -- I am jealous of my cousin's husband. He got to GO to the Superbowl this year and saw the boys bring home #6 in person. At the very least, he had the decency to take his dad with him to the big game, and he mentioned that it was a childhood fantasy come true. (After that 4th quarter comeback, I hope it was worth it!) I jest in my purported jealousy; it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy in all honesty.
And now I must return to my regularly scheduled day of baby-wrangling, kitchen-cleaning, laundry-folding and general de-cluttering. BBQ crockpot ribs for dinner tonight. Woo!
1. Gave birth (and liveblogged it, which I will likely import over here when/if time permits);
2. Recovered from said birth (and still doing so for another ten days; post-partum is officially 42 days long according to the doc);
3. Started back to school;
4. Got the Girl started back to school;
5. Survived the usual January blast of Minnesota arctic chill; and
6. Watched the Steelers win the Super Bowl!
So I've had a busy month!
The birth itself went about as well as I could have expected, considering I had a repeat c-section. I liveblogged it and will probably eventually take that blog down and import everything over here so it can be properly archived.
School (so far) is going well. There are ups and downs to my current schedule. The major plus is that I only have ONE (yes one!) written final this term, for Evidence. I am told it's a major pain, so I will likely take as much time as I need to study for it and then take it when I'm ready. Another major plus: two of my classes are done either shortly before Easter or shortly after it, and these are the classes that meet on the weekend days this term. Score! I can handle two classes on Friday if that's the only day of the week I have to sit in class.
Downside? TWO major writing projects (a motion brief and a paper) and a mock trial to run for Trial Advocacy. I suppose it could be worse -- but it just means that each week I will have a LOT of prep work, rather than pacing through 14 weeks of reading and outlining, then 3 weeks of final crunch.
And then I'm HALFWAY done with law school! How'd that happen, y'all??
I'm sure there's more... like how the baby likes it when I sing Paul Simon and James Taylor ("Me and Julio Down By The Schoolyard" is a favorite) and how geeked I am that things are looking up in terms of a new JM album this year. I still wish I could have gone on MCC2, but I'll deal. After all, if there is a tour coming up this fall, then Santa will know what to leave in my stocking. And I STILL need to get my autographed copy of Continuum framed and hung in the baby's room.
Until then, it's me doing my thing: studying when the baby sleeps, typing one-handed when she doesn't, looking forward to longer, warmer days and enjoying the sunshine when we get it.
I must say -- I am jealous of my cousin's husband. He got to GO to the Superbowl this year and saw the boys bring home #6 in person. At the very least, he had the decency to take his dad with him to the big game, and he mentioned that it was a childhood fantasy come true. (After that 4th quarter comeback, I hope it was worth it!) I jest in my purported jealousy; it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy in all honesty.
And now I must return to my regularly scheduled day of baby-wrangling, kitchen-cleaning, laundry-folding and general de-cluttering. BBQ crockpot ribs for dinner tonight. Woo!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
2008 Wrap-Up
(Okay, I'm cheating. It's really February 3rd right now, but I wanted to post this. So I backlogged it. I suppose I could have posted it whilst in the hospital over New Years' but you know... baby and stuff.)
1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Did a stint as a stay-at-home mom. Very interesting.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't remember making any, but I did resolve this year to be kinder and gentler to people in thought, word and deed. So far it's been a good mindset to remember.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes! Jen and I both gave birth to beautiful baby girls, and we are waiting on Finn and Baby M (both of unknown gender) to make their appearances this spring. Sharing pregnancy with a girlfriend is an amazing and wonderful thing.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, I don't think so. It was a good year in that respect.
5. What countries did you visit?
Unfortunately, no international travel this year. Mom and Sis went to Ireland, though!
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A really awesome triathlon season. Boy did I ever miss training and competing -- more than I ever thought I would.
7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
January: girls' weekend in Chicago w/Kate & Sooz, saw Buddy Guy in concert
Mother's Day: found out I was pregnant
July 2nd: met John Mayer in person (Milwaukee Summerfest show)
July 3rd: St. Louis JM show
July 17-21st: Girls' weekend in Chicago w/the JM girls; JM Chicago show on the 18th.
August 30-31: Final two JM shows in Florida, road-tripping with Jen
September 8: The Girl's first day of school!
December 17: took a big fall on the ice on my way to school. (I'll tell this story later.)
December 29-30: induction and birth of Baby Bean.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Honestly? 2008 was a real year of transition for me. I think I had a lot of achievements, from massive improvement of my grades, to coming to terms with my parents' divorce and my relationship with my father, to finally getting the family on a budget so we could live without my part time job.
I also feel like my second birth experience vindicated my first, even though it turned out nothing like I thought it would.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Keeping the house decluttered. Honestly...I have laundry and general cleaning down pat. Clutter...just keeps growing like kudzu around here.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Pregnancy is not an illness...but I did have my fair share of ups and downs with this one, including dizzy flashes and serious exhaustion. I took a fall about two weeks before the Bean was born and I don't think I've ever experienced that much consistent pain in my life.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Plane tickets and concert tickets for five (FIVE!) JM summer tour shows.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
The MN voter recount committee. They are doing a hell of a job in deciding the Senate race between Coleman and Franken. Here's to the process at work!
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Sadly, the same as last year: the Bush administration. Thank GOD they are gone and we can get back to the real work of America.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Target! (No really... Target, summer tour travel and probably hospital bills, once they start rolling in.)
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Meeting John Mayer and traveling/meeting new friends. My friends are easily the best benefit of being a JM fan.
16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
"Gravity" by Sara Barielles. For many, many reasons.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Much happier.
b) thinner or fatter? About the same, which is miraculous considering I was pregnant. Be gone, baby weight!
c) richer or poorer? About the same. Probably slightly richer, although that's more likely due to gas prices returning to normal than anything else...
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Things with the Girl during the summertime. We're going to have to make a concerted effort to get out of the house more when school is out, even with the baby.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Complain, argue and feel sorry for myself. Life's too short.
20. How did you spend Christmas? On the couch, almost immobile and recovering from finals. Also preparing for the baby's arrival.
21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Absolutely and without question.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Weeds! We Netflix'ed the first 3 seasons and hello! Awesome!
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Hate is a strong word. I don't hate anyone. I did lose a friend this year, to a stupid and petty argument. I want to make amends, but need to figure out how.
24. What was the best book you read?
Hmmm... didn't get to read much this year, but I'll bite and say "Shadow Cities." Any book that mentions flying toilets gets a big thumbs up!
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Matt Nathanson! (Thanks, Jen!) Possibly re-discovering Jim Croce. Pandora overall rocks pretty hard. And Keri Noble is amazing.
26. What did you want and get?
A healthy baby, a lot of John Mayer, and a new car. (Heinrich!)
27. What did you want and not get?
To do a triathlon and get more in shape.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
I don't know if I had one! I saw a lot of movies -- mostly of the kid variety, though.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Went to Red Robin and had a bowling party!! (I was 31.)
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Dean's List and a scholarship.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Clearance rack at Motherhood Maternity!
32. What kept you sane?
My counselor, and having a Summer of Awesome. I needed the time and the perspective, and it made everything so, so much better.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
A-duh. And I got to meet him this year too!!
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Equality in marriage. For everyone.
35. Who did you miss?
Jordana.
36. Who was the best new person you met? Can I have more than one? The JM Chicago girls! (Jen, Allison, Geneva, Linda, Amanda and Monica), and Cait and Mara. 2008 was fantastic for friend-making.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
It's NEVER too late to let go and start over. And you never know what form or shape that will take.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Joey, baby - don't get crazy
Detours, fences, I get defensive
I know you've heard it all before, so I don't say it anymore
I just stand by and watch you fight your secret war.
Although I used to wonder why, I used to cry 'til I was dry.
Still sometimes I get a strange pain inside,
Oh, Joey, if you're hurting so am I.
Joey, honey - I got some money.
All is forgiven; listen, listen...
And if I seem to be confused, I didn't mean to be with you.
And when you said I scared you, well I guess you scared me too.
But we got lucky once before, and I don't wanna close the door;
And if you're somewhere out there passed out on the floor,
Oh Joey, I'm not angry anymore.
And if I seem to be confused, I didn't mean to be with you.
And when you said I scared you, well I guess you scared me too.
But if it's love you're looking for, then I can give a little more
And if you're somewhere drunk and passed out on the floor,
Oh, Joey I'm not angry anymore...angry anymore...
1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Did a stint as a stay-at-home mom. Very interesting.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't remember making any, but I did resolve this year to be kinder and gentler to people in thought, word and deed. So far it's been a good mindset to remember.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes! Jen and I both gave birth to beautiful baby girls, and we are waiting on Finn and Baby M (both of unknown gender) to make their appearances this spring. Sharing pregnancy with a girlfriend is an amazing and wonderful thing.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, I don't think so. It was a good year in that respect.
5. What countries did you visit?
Unfortunately, no international travel this year. Mom and Sis went to Ireland, though!
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A really awesome triathlon season. Boy did I ever miss training and competing -- more than I ever thought I would.
7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
January: girls' weekend in Chicago w/Kate & Sooz, saw Buddy Guy in concert
Mother's Day: found out I was pregnant
July 2nd: met John Mayer in person (Milwaukee Summerfest show)
July 3rd: St. Louis JM show
July 17-21st: Girls' weekend in Chicago w/the JM girls; JM Chicago show on the 18th.
August 30-31: Final two JM shows in Florida, road-tripping with Jen
September 8: The Girl's first day of school!
December 17: took a big fall on the ice on my way to school. (I'll tell this story later.)
December 29-30: induction and birth of Baby Bean.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Honestly? 2008 was a real year of transition for me. I think I had a lot of achievements, from massive improvement of my grades, to coming to terms with my parents' divorce and my relationship with my father, to finally getting the family on a budget so we could live without my part time job.
I also feel like my second birth experience vindicated my first, even though it turned out nothing like I thought it would.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Keeping the house decluttered. Honestly...I have laundry and general cleaning down pat. Clutter...just keeps growing like kudzu around here.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Pregnancy is not an illness...but I did have my fair share of ups and downs with this one, including dizzy flashes and serious exhaustion. I took a fall about two weeks before the Bean was born and I don't think I've ever experienced that much consistent pain in my life.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Plane tickets and concert tickets for five (FIVE!) JM summer tour shows.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
The MN voter recount committee. They are doing a hell of a job in deciding the Senate race between Coleman and Franken. Here's to the process at work!
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Sadly, the same as last year: the Bush administration. Thank GOD they are gone and we can get back to the real work of America.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Target! (No really... Target, summer tour travel and probably hospital bills, once they start rolling in.)
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Meeting John Mayer and traveling/meeting new friends. My friends are easily the best benefit of being a JM fan.
16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
"Gravity" by Sara Barielles. For many, many reasons.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Much happier.
b) thinner or fatter? About the same, which is miraculous considering I was pregnant. Be gone, baby weight!
c) richer or poorer? About the same. Probably slightly richer, although that's more likely due to gas prices returning to normal than anything else...
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Things with the Girl during the summertime. We're going to have to make a concerted effort to get out of the house more when school is out, even with the baby.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Complain, argue and feel sorry for myself. Life's too short.
20. How did you spend Christmas? On the couch, almost immobile and recovering from finals. Also preparing for the baby's arrival.
21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Absolutely and without question.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Weeds! We Netflix'ed the first 3 seasons and hello! Awesome!
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Hate is a strong word. I don't hate anyone. I did lose a friend this year, to a stupid and petty argument. I want to make amends, but need to figure out how.
24. What was the best book you read?
Hmmm... didn't get to read much this year, but I'll bite and say "Shadow Cities." Any book that mentions flying toilets gets a big thumbs up!
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Matt Nathanson! (Thanks, Jen!) Possibly re-discovering Jim Croce. Pandora overall rocks pretty hard. And Keri Noble is amazing.
26. What did you want and get?
A healthy baby, a lot of John Mayer, and a new car. (Heinrich!)
27. What did you want and not get?
To do a triathlon and get more in shape.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
I don't know if I had one! I saw a lot of movies -- mostly of the kid variety, though.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Went to Red Robin and had a bowling party!! (I was 31.)
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Dean's List and a scholarship.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Clearance rack at Motherhood Maternity!
32. What kept you sane?
My counselor, and having a Summer of Awesome. I needed the time and the perspective, and it made everything so, so much better.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
A-duh. And I got to meet him this year too!!
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Equality in marriage. For everyone.
35. Who did you miss?
Jordana.
36. Who was the best new person you met? Can I have more than one? The JM Chicago girls! (Jen, Allison, Geneva, Linda, Amanda and Monica), and Cait and Mara. 2008 was fantastic for friend-making.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
It's NEVER too late to let go and start over. And you never know what form or shape that will take.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Joey, baby - don't get crazy
Detours, fences, I get defensive
I know you've heard it all before, so I don't say it anymore
I just stand by and watch you fight your secret war.
Although I used to wonder why, I used to cry 'til I was dry.
Still sometimes I get a strange pain inside,
Oh, Joey, if you're hurting so am I.
Joey, honey - I got some money.
All is forgiven; listen, listen...
And if I seem to be confused, I didn't mean to be with you.
And when you said I scared you, well I guess you scared me too.
But we got lucky once before, and I don't wanna close the door;
And if you're somewhere out there passed out on the floor,
Oh Joey, I'm not angry anymore.
And if I seem to be confused, I didn't mean to be with you.
And when you said I scared you, well I guess you scared me too.
But if it's love you're looking for, then I can give a little more
And if you're somewhere drunk and passed out on the floor,
Oh, Joey I'm not angry anymore...angry anymore...
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
And Now She Is Six
Dear Girl,
Today is your sixth birthday.
I'm rather remiss this year, writing to you at 10:10pm, after the festivities are finished, after both birthday and Christmas are retired for yet another year. You are sitting on the couch right now, in your new pink penguin pajamas, playing with yet another obnoxious electronic game, the fascination of which is something you've managed to gain this year. (Streaks of your father in you, no doubt.)
Even if I could have predicted the roller-coaster ride my life would take over the last twelve months, I don't know if I would have done anything differently in being your mom. I found myself being purposeful in my actions toward you; trying my best not to take out frustration or outside hurt on you. You are as ever my bright, blonde shining star, even when it seems you don't want to hear what I have to say.
I was so excited to have you along for the ride during our summer trips this year. You were aware enough to ask questions about the things you saw in the airport and the reasons why things appeared outside your car window. You tease me about my musical obsessions, saying things like "Mommy, you love John Mayer!" And when I tell you "no, I love John Mayer's music; I love Daddy" you simply giggle and roll your eyes, a mere shadow of the teenager brewing inside and awaiting her debut in six short years.
You're halfway there, Girl. Take it easy on us for a little while, won't you?
Last year's letter could also have never predicted the fact that you will become a big sister in a little less than a week. When we told you that we would have a new baby, you found out on the same day we did. I took the fateful test, had a private conversation with your dad, and then we looked at each other and simply called you into the room. The last seven and a half months or so have been filled with questions from you, mostly to do with when the baby would come (after your birthday), whether it would be a brother or sister (sister, as evidenced by the ultrasound you got to witness in August, and I will never forget your expression and giggle as you watched the alien ballet on the screen while the technician scanned my belly), and reminders that you will be a good helper, and will remember to keep your toys off the floor.
I suppose I'll be writing another of these letters next week, and your presence in our new baby's life will be paramount. She will look up to you, and, one big sister to another, it will be your job to talk to her when she won't talk to me, as much as I hate to think either of you would ever be in that position. Until that time, my sweet Girl, enjoy your world of princesses and imagination, and be willing to share it with your sister when she asks.
Another situation I could never have fathomed was your need for speech therapy. It came upon me not long ago that some of your adorable proclivities weren't resolving themselves, and true enough, the school's analysis rang true. I believe you will grow out of it; I believe half of your issue is that you are thinking at twice the speed your mouth will move. But I also believe you are you, and you will adjust in your own time, just as you always have. You'll start the therapy when you return to school in January for the second half of Kindergarten, and you'll tackle it with aplomb, just as you swam circles around the other kids in your Level 1 swimming class this fall.
I am, as ever, inordinately proud of your growth, physically, intellectually and emotionally. This year will be another of firsts, from learning to live with a new baby, to riding your bike without training wheels, to advancing in swimming lessons and perhaps tackling a new activity (dance or basketball? Whatever you'd like, my Girl.) Sometimes you'll win, and sometimes you'll lose. You won't always be top of your class, or the best, or the most special. Learn your moments and take pride that you have done your own best. I always will.
The world is your oyster, and you are a pearl in it. Never ever doubt that; for even as imperfect as they sometimes are, they each contribute beauty and depth to the world, in their own special way.
I love you, my dear, sweet, firstborn Girl. Happy Sixth Birthday.
Love,
Mommy
Today is your sixth birthday.
I'm rather remiss this year, writing to you at 10:10pm, after the festivities are finished, after both birthday and Christmas are retired for yet another year. You are sitting on the couch right now, in your new pink penguin pajamas, playing with yet another obnoxious electronic game, the fascination of which is something you've managed to gain this year. (Streaks of your father in you, no doubt.)
Even if I could have predicted the roller-coaster ride my life would take over the last twelve months, I don't know if I would have done anything differently in being your mom. I found myself being purposeful in my actions toward you; trying my best not to take out frustration or outside hurt on you. You are as ever my bright, blonde shining star, even when it seems you don't want to hear what I have to say.
I was so excited to have you along for the ride during our summer trips this year. You were aware enough to ask questions about the things you saw in the airport and the reasons why things appeared outside your car window. You tease me about my musical obsessions, saying things like "Mommy, you love John Mayer!" And when I tell you "no, I love John Mayer's music; I love Daddy" you simply giggle and roll your eyes, a mere shadow of the teenager brewing inside and awaiting her debut in six short years.
You're halfway there, Girl. Take it easy on us for a little while, won't you?
Last year's letter could also have never predicted the fact that you will become a big sister in a little less than a week. When we told you that we would have a new baby, you found out on the same day we did. I took the fateful test, had a private conversation with your dad, and then we looked at each other and simply called you into the room. The last seven and a half months or so have been filled with questions from you, mostly to do with when the baby would come (after your birthday), whether it would be a brother or sister (sister, as evidenced by the ultrasound you got to witness in August, and I will never forget your expression and giggle as you watched the alien ballet on the screen while the technician scanned my belly), and reminders that you will be a good helper, and will remember to keep your toys off the floor.
I suppose I'll be writing another of these letters next week, and your presence in our new baby's life will be paramount. She will look up to you, and, one big sister to another, it will be your job to talk to her when she won't talk to me, as much as I hate to think either of you would ever be in that position. Until that time, my sweet Girl, enjoy your world of princesses and imagination, and be willing to share it with your sister when she asks.
Another situation I could never have fathomed was your need for speech therapy. It came upon me not long ago that some of your adorable proclivities weren't resolving themselves, and true enough, the school's analysis rang true. I believe you will grow out of it; I believe half of your issue is that you are thinking at twice the speed your mouth will move. But I also believe you are you, and you will adjust in your own time, just as you always have. You'll start the therapy when you return to school in January for the second half of Kindergarten, and you'll tackle it with aplomb, just as you swam circles around the other kids in your Level 1 swimming class this fall.
I am, as ever, inordinately proud of your growth, physically, intellectually and emotionally. This year will be another of firsts, from learning to live with a new baby, to riding your bike without training wheels, to advancing in swimming lessons and perhaps tackling a new activity (dance or basketball? Whatever you'd like, my Girl.) Sometimes you'll win, and sometimes you'll lose. You won't always be top of your class, or the best, or the most special. Learn your moments and take pride that you have done your own best. I always will.
The world is your oyster, and you are a pearl in it. Never ever doubt that; for even as imperfect as they sometimes are, they each contribute beauty and depth to the world, in their own special way.
I love you, my dear, sweet, firstborn Girl. Happy Sixth Birthday.
Love,
Mommy
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Twelve Days of Christmas: Day Two
I have my Constitutional Law final tomorrow afternoon, and as soon as I post this to Holidailies, I'm headed to bed. My legs feel like tree trunks, my ankles and feet look like balloons, and my head is swimming after a 10 hour study marathon. If anyone wants to give me some pointers on the analysis of substantive due process and how to identify a dormant commerce clause issue, feel free. Tomorrow after the final, we're going to do some baby shopping and then hopefully get the house slightly cleaned up in anticipation of the holidays and the impending arrival. If luck stays with us, we may have a baby before Christmas.
Today's musical selection hits me in two places. It's probably not as well known as much of the rest of the Christmas music canon, but it's fantastic in its simplicity, and has stuck with me since the first time I heard it.
First, it is a beautiful madrigal. We sung it in high school, a cappella, in womens' voice. It was part of choir and also part of the school's annual madrigal festival/dinner, which was a large part of my high school experience. I remember thinking the sentiment was lovely: it seems that the Three Wise Men weren't the only ones to visit the newborn Jesus in the manger. I like to think that a woman called upon two of her friends to bring a torch and visit the baby, reminding each other to admire, but stay quiet, so as not to disturb the quiet of His new life.
In a way, it reminds me of the old Christmas adage: if there had been Three Wise Women instead of Three Wise Men, they would have asked for directions, arrived early, brought a casserole, helped deliver the baby and cleaned up afterward.
The song is slightly more elegant in sentiment.
The second place this song hits me, especially this year, is that my good friend Jen delivered her third baby on Thursday. Baby V. is a tiny little peanut of a thing, not even 6.5 pounds. She's the spitting image of her mother, and the perfect addition to Jen's family. They are home and resting, and seem to be in fine fettle. I can't help but think that my little one will be with us shortly, and I can only hope that I come through this birth with as much grace and dignity as Jen.
Bring A Torch, Jeanette, Isabella
Hush, hush! Beautiful is the mother...
Hush, hush! Beautiful is the child...
Today's musical selection hits me in two places. It's probably not as well known as much of the rest of the Christmas music canon, but it's fantastic in its simplicity, and has stuck with me since the first time I heard it.
First, it is a beautiful madrigal. We sung it in high school, a cappella, in womens' voice. It was part of choir and also part of the school's annual madrigal festival/dinner, which was a large part of my high school experience. I remember thinking the sentiment was lovely: it seems that the Three Wise Men weren't the only ones to visit the newborn Jesus in the manger. I like to think that a woman called upon two of her friends to bring a torch and visit the baby, reminding each other to admire, but stay quiet, so as not to disturb the quiet of His new life.
In a way, it reminds me of the old Christmas adage: if there had been Three Wise Women instead of Three Wise Men, they would have asked for directions, arrived early, brought a casserole, helped deliver the baby and cleaned up afterward.
The song is slightly more elegant in sentiment.
The second place this song hits me, especially this year, is that my good friend Jen delivered her third baby on Thursday. Baby V. is a tiny little peanut of a thing, not even 6.5 pounds. She's the spitting image of her mother, and the perfect addition to Jen's family. They are home and resting, and seem to be in fine fettle. I can't help but think that my little one will be with us shortly, and I can only hope that I come through this birth with as much grace and dignity as Jen.
Bring A Torch, Jeanette, Isabella
Hush, hush! Beautiful is the mother...
Hush, hush! Beautiful is the child...
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Bad Mommy
Did you ever have one of those can't do anything right, dropped the baby on her head, forgot to turn the coffee pot off, check engine light went on in the car, missed the due date on the credit card bill, don't want to put the Christmas tree up, terrible, horrible, no-good, very-bad days?
Welcome to today. Population me.
Today started out just as any other normal day would. Running slightly late, but got the Girl off to the bus stop just about on time, breakfasted, and dressed for the weather.
I got myself dressed and then headed off to school, to finish my outline and take my Misdemeanors final. Spent all morning in the lounge, in the zone, all things are well. Afternoon exam session started at 1:30pm, and I was done with the final around 3:40 or so. Packed up, turned in my exam to the Registrar, and was met by one of the assistant registrars.
"We got a call from Safety and Security."
This would drive fear into the heart of any student.
"It's about your daughter."
This made my heart drop to my knees.
"Apparently, today was an early release day for the schools and she got home, and got scared that nobody was there. Somehow she managed to get hold of Safety and Security, and everything's fine...they got hold of your husband, but they called over here looking for you, and we would have pulled you out of the final if something were wrong, but we wanted you to know."
It was at this point that I had one of those parental moments. Somewhere between fear, anger, neglect and self-hatred resides a monster of a different sort. This is the one that says "no, really. It was you that took a completely controllable situation and fucked it up because you've had seventeen thousand other things on your mind, not the least of which is your daughter."
Needless to say, I rushed home, and found the Boy and the Girl at the neighbor's house. We walked home and put the pieces together.
Apparently the Girl got scared when she got home and found nobody here. (I was taking my final, naturally.) As previously stated, it was an early release day, meaning she would be home two hours earlier than normal (around 2pm instead of 4pm.) Now, preface all of this by saying that she has arrived home before me on a few occasions, and she's been instructed to stay in the house and wait for me -- I am generally home within 10 minutes of her arrival and she doesn't freak out. This semester I had a class that met once a week and let out about 5-10 minutes after her bus arrived. Ironically enough, this class was the final I took today.
Moving on.
She waited about 15 minutes and when nobody came home, she apparently went outside (dressed in her coat, boots and snowpants, thank God) and got noticed by the neighbor, who promptly invited her in and got enough information out of her to call her school and get the school to call the Boy at work.
Whilst the school got hold of the Boy, the neighbor called over to campus security and got them working on finding me. (Meanwhile I'm in a sequestered exam room, with my cell phone off and my computer working offline in exam software mode, and hence, incommunicado.)
The Girl stayed at the neighbor's until the Boy got home. I got out of my exam, got the news and immediately took off for home as quickly as I could waddle.
When all was said and done, we are very lucky nothing happened. Lucky that the neighbor was home, lucky that the Girl had the wherewithal to know that the neighbor was a safe place to go, lucky the Boy wasn't out of town on business, lucky that the school got hold of him right away.
I am still waiting for the lump in my throat to go away, for the guilt at not having looked closely at the school calendar to subside. My hands are literally shaking, and I could care less about how I did on the stupid final. The Girl is no worse for the wear, apparently. The Boy and I are about as wrecked as two parents could be.
We now have the name and number of the neighbor. We're going to type up a laminated card for the bottom of her backpack with all of our info as well as campus info for me. And we're going to get her a pay as you go cell phone which has numbers programmed into it, and we'll teach her to use it so she can call one of us directly if something like this happens again.
I'm also going to teach her how to walk to the law building and to the safety and security office so she knows where to go to find me or find help.
And next semester, I'm getting extra copies of the school calendar to post in every room, computer, calendar, Outlook, alarm and cell phone in the house. This will NOT happen again.
The horrid part of it is that this could have been prevented. I should have been more mindful, I should have checked the calendar, I should have done ten other easy things to make sure she was cared for. The exam I took today was self-scheduled. It would have easily kept until tomorrow morning. Or next week.
I keep thinking about how she could have gotten picked up by a stranger or run over by a car, or hundreds of other horrible things that you hear on CNN... I keep picturing her little body at the bottom of a ditch, or frozen or frostbitten or worse, simply gone and vanished into thin air. I hear Amber Alerts all the time for kids, and every time I hear one I pray to God that child returns home, and I thank God that it's not my Girl.
It may seem blown out of proportion, especially to the non-parents who read this, but when you're one step away from shoulda-coulda-woulda, and it's your child's safety on the line, I dare you to feel otherwise.
I'm fairly well wrecked right now...and things will be better in the morning. I doubt it will stop me from waking up every couple of hours tonight, just to check that she's still asleep in her bed, safe from the cold cruel world for at least one more night.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
On His Own
You'll indulge me a fangirl moment.
Tonight, John played an amazing solo set lasting two hours. Without benefit of a backing band, relief, or anything other than a drum machine, a set of loop pedals and his own guts and wits, he filled the Nokia Theatre in L.A.
The show was livestreamed on his website as well, and since I am great with child and had neither time nor funds to go to L.A. for the real show, I sufficed by listening in and chatting with a bunch of other fanfreaks on teh Webz.
He never ceases to astound me.
Five Grammy nods in a year without a new studio album.
A tour without a new project to support, which came off beautifully and gave the fans something to talk about.
Now this.
Honestly, I don't know where he gets it.
Toward the end of the show, he told a story of when he traveled alone in Japan from Tokyo to Kyoto, and how coming up ten yen short meant he had to give the snack cart lady his peanuts back. It was one of his most humbling moments, because she didn't speak much English, and he doesn't speak much Japanese. In that moment he was just another guy, another gaijin who was ten yen down for a complete lunch. It didn't matter that he was rich or famous or anything. He was ten yen down, and he had to give back the peanuts just like anyone else.
I suppose it's not something I think about much, because I tend to live a rather humble life anyway (for a middle-class American, at least). It's not hard for me to remember that I am, as the song says, everyday people. I think regardless of how much money I might earn or how extravagant my lifestyle has the potential to become, I'll remember that one of these days, I'll still be just another woman who is ten yen short, and maybe I too will have to give back the bag of peanuts.
I hope so, anyway.
Thanks for an awesome concert, John. Happy Holidays!
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Gay Marriages Will Save The Economy!!
(At least, according to Marc Shaiman. Transcript follows below.)
I think this is quite possibly one of the most brilliant and relevant pieces of satire I've ever seen in my life. Besides, it's not everyday you get Jack Black as Jesus Christ.
It’s a brand-new bright Obama day!
What a time to be black, a girl or gay!
No, nothing could go wrong, so join us in this song
Of happy days for the gays, nothing can go wrong!
Look nobody’s watching, it’s time to spread some hate
And put it the constitution
Now, how?
Proposition 8!
(Proposition 8!)
Great!
People listen to our plea
They’ll teach kids about sodomy!
(Sodomy!)
That wasn’t right, that’s a lie
But it worked so we don’t care!
Now you wish we’d all shut up
But make our clothes and fix our hair
And our love is not a sin!
Well, the Bible says it’s so!
Well, the Bible says a lot of things, you know?
(gasp) JESUS CHRIST!
Hey, how’s it goin’?
Jesus, doesn’t the Bible say these people are an abomination?
(Obama-nation?)
Yeah, but it says the exact same thing about this shrimp cocktail!
(mmmm, shrimp cocktail!)
Uh-uh-uh! Leviticus says shellfish is an abomination!
(Obama-nation!)
What else does the Bible say, Jesus?
(laughing)…The Bible says a LOT of interesting things…
Like you can stone your wife or sell your daughter into slavery
Well we ignore those verses!
Well then friend it seems to me you pick and choose
(We pick and choose!)
Well please choose love instead of hate!
Besides your nation
Was built on separation of church and state!
(See you later, sinners!)
(Bye, Jesus! Bye! We love you! I love you, Jesus!)
You know, here’s another thought to wrap things up…
Oh, every time a gay or lesbian finds love at the parade,
There’s money to be made! (He’s right!)
It’s time two grooms say “paint that wedding hall, and lavender’s the shade!”
There’s money to be made! (He has a point!)
Think of all the carriages and four white horses
There’s millions lost from all your disapproving (well that’s not good!)
Think of all the lawyers for the gay divorces,
Think of the tattoo removing!
We get it now! We’ve been such fools!
I can see America’s calling me!
Yes, gay marriages will save the economy!
I think this is quite possibly one of the most brilliant and relevant pieces of satire I've ever seen in my life. Besides, it's not everyday you get Jack Black as Jesus Christ.
See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die
It’s a brand-new bright Obama day!
What a time to be black, a girl or gay!
No, nothing could go wrong, so join us in this song
Of happy days for the gays, nothing can go wrong!
Look nobody’s watching, it’s time to spread some hate
And put it the constitution
Now, how?
Proposition 8!
(Proposition 8!)
Great!
People listen to our plea
They’ll teach kids about sodomy!
(Sodomy!)
That wasn’t right, that’s a lie
But it worked so we don’t care!
Now you wish we’d all shut up
But make our clothes and fix our hair
And our love is not a sin!
Well, the Bible says it’s so!
Well, the Bible says a lot of things, you know?
(gasp) JESUS CHRIST!
Hey, how’s it goin’?
Jesus, doesn’t the Bible say these people are an abomination?
(Obama-nation?)
Yeah, but it says the exact same thing about this shrimp cocktail!
(mmmm, shrimp cocktail!)
Uh-uh-uh! Leviticus says shellfish is an abomination!
(Obama-nation!)
What else does the Bible say, Jesus?
(laughing)…The Bible says a LOT of interesting things…
Like you can stone your wife or sell your daughter into slavery
Well we ignore those verses!
Well then friend it seems to me you pick and choose
(We pick and choose!)
Well please choose love instead of hate!
Besides your nation
Was built on separation of church and state!
(See you later, sinners!)
(Bye, Jesus! Bye! We love you! I love you, Jesus!)
You know, here’s another thought to wrap things up…
Oh, every time a gay or lesbian finds love at the parade,
There’s money to be made! (He’s right!)
It’s time two grooms say “paint that wedding hall, and lavender’s the shade!”
There’s money to be made! (He has a point!)
Think of all the carriages and four white horses
There’s millions lost from all your disapproving (well that’s not good!)
Think of all the lawyers for the gay divorces,
Think of the tattoo removing!
We get it now! We’ve been such fools!
I can see America’s calling me!
Yes, gay marriages will save the economy!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
