Sunday, November 11, 2007

Three Phases of First Semester, 1L Year: Paradiso, Purgatorio, Inferno

Paradiso: Heaven. You're in. You got your letter. They called your number. Orientation and first week of classes. Lots and LOTS of free food.

Purgatorio: Six-eight weeks into the semester, you're grinding like crazy, and you start to wonder whatever possessed you to go to law school in the first place. You see a group of non-laws taking a tour of the building, passing through the common area and ogling you as if you and your friends are zoo animals. You want desperately to yell "DON'T DO IT!!!" but you don't- you remember when you were on that tour, and you wish someone had yelled at you.

Inferno: Hell. Exams are three weeks away. Memo is due in eight hours. You and your friends have decided you have to laugh or kill each other. Plans are being made for the end-of-finals liver pickle and covered dish open house. You can't look at a casebook again for fear of being rendered permanently cross eyed.

This is the afterlife, my friend...and nobody gets out alive. You didn't notice the invisible banner hanging over the front door to the law school on the first day of classes. It blended in with the red bricks and ivy and lofty dreams.

Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.

Such characters in colour dim I mark'd
Over a portal's lofty arch inscrib'd:
Whereat I thus: Master, these words import.

-Dante, "Divine Comedy"

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