Sunday, November 11, 2007

Split Screen Sadness/Something's Missing

Cause I can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me
So I can say this is the way that I used to be

I can't be sure that this state of mind is not of my own design...I wish there was an over-the-counter test for loneliness like this

Working on myself.

Ups and downs are part of life. I've had ebbs and flows, but this last one was a tsunami. Reading back through my blog, I was up late one night, and that was probably the start of it.

I had three weeks of lost time, hurt feelings (so much hurt...), I let my family, my classmates, myself down. All because of a funk that took me this long to recognize, set right, attempt to free myself from, and get back on track.

Picking up the pieces is the worst part- when I'm down I can find peace inside myself...I absolutely shut down. Coming up for air is not always something I want to do for fear of the aftermath.

I overcame part yesterday by apologizing to my study group and one of my husband and I, well- that wound is probably too late for stitches, but it's bandaged carefully, we're watching out for infection and hoping it heals without too much scar tissue.

I need to go get my mail, clean my house, and get ready for the weekend- my mom and sister are visiting and it's the last push before Thanksgiving and finals.

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