Lift Me Up

Rain, rain on my face
Hasn't stopped raining for days
My world is a flood
Slowly I become one with the mud

But if I can't swim after forty days
and my mind is crushed by the crashing waves
Lift me up so high that I cannot fall
Lift me up
Lift me up - When I'm falling
Lift me up - I'm weak and I'm dying
Lift me up - I need you to hold me
Lift me up - And keep me from drowning again

Downpour on my soul
Splashing in the ocean, I'm losing control
Dark sky all around
Can't feel my feet touching the ground

Calm the storms that drench my eyes
Dry the streams still flowing
Cast down all the waves of sin
And guilt that overthrow me

But if I can't swim after forty days
and my mind is crushed by the crashing waves
Lift me up so high that I cannot fall
Lift me up
Lift me up - When I'm falling
Lift me up - I'm weak and I'm dying
Lift me up - I need you to hold me
Lift me up - and keep me from drowning again

"Flood" - Jars of Clay

I'm not normally one for Christian music, but this particular song is one of my favorites, not only for the message (which as a Christian, I wholeheartedly believe, and need to hear on occasion), but for the music itself.

Sometimes my life becomes a flood, and I feel like I'm drowning - like there's nothing there to save me and all I have to do is stop fighting and eventually the pain will leave. All I have to do is sink down, watch the bubbles rise and let myself get pulled under by the currents and undertows.

Thing of it is, I know how to swim, and it takes a hell of a lot of effort to fight that particular reflex. In life, as in the water, you have to draw on your reserves, and fall back on your training to enable survival. And when you do survive, and the rain stops, and the skies clear, sometimes nothing is more beautiful than watching the seas calm from the relative safety of the beach.

Is self preservation a method of salvation? If you save yourself, do you save others as well? What do we rely on as humans to make our lives worth living?

Sometimes my life preserver is my family, sometimes it's my faith, sometimes (rarely) it is myself. Many times it's a combination of all of the above. At times, the flood is too much, and at times, it's a matter of remembering your umbrella.

I'm waiting for my spring grades, and the sooner I get them, the better. It kills me to not know.