To Both Of You (An Open, Confidential Letter In Two Parts).

To the parties involved: you know who you are. If you have to ask, it isn't you. Don't bother asking, because I'll never tell.

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Dear Friend,

I was afraid it would come down to this.

You are such an amazing and loving person, with the greatest capacity for love, loyalty and devotion that I have ever seen. You are also incredibly sanguine, which makes for easily hurt/bruised feelings. The problem is that once they fade, you think it won't happen to you again. So you stay open, hope for the best, and get your ass kicked, repeatedly.

I love you so much, and it kills me to see you hurt. I feel like a bad friend for disagreeing with your choices. I feel like a worse friend for not heading your hurt off at the pass. But you are a grown woman, and there is little else I can do but bite my tongue and be there for you, because you need my support more than you need my words or judgment. I will always be there to catch you when you fall.

Love,

Kate

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Dear Friend's Friend,

The situation is complicated. This much I can tell, even though I don't have all the facts about what happened. But the one thing I know about her is that she kept her word to you. She didn't betray you. She never meant to hurt you. If she lied, she did so out of panic and guilt over the thought of never speaking to you again. She kept whatever secret it was you swore her to.

It's not my place to meddle, so these will be my only words on the subject unless you ask me personally to discuss it more. But I will say this: if you look deeper and give her a chance, my friend will return your love a thousandfold without blinking. She could be the very best thing that has ever happened to you, if you put your sword down for a minute and just talk to her. Her laugh is infectious, her humor sublime. She loves unconditionally and without end.

Unfortunately, the ball is in your court to contact her - she left it that way for fear of asking too much of you. Try talking to her. You won't be let down.

With Care,

Kate