I got a comment on an old entry a few days ago, from an anonymous reader. They wrote: "...every time I hear about love like the one that you have, I can do nothing but wish that I could have the same...one day."
It's true. I'm crazy in love with my husband, and even though there are times we've faltered and failed each other, there are just as many times we've redeemed and uplifted each other. We've made babies together, we've made a life together. With any luck and huge effort, we'll grow gray and wrinkled together too. We have lived with, through, and for each other for almost half our lives. His smile is my comfort, his arms are my home.
Thank you, dear reader, for your kind words.
It's not our anniversary. It's not his birthday, or my birthday, or whatever. This song is for my Boy, just because I am so in love with him, it's not even funny.
Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore
I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are
Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care
I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are.
I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you.
I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Celebration Anxiety
This past week was amazing and anxiety-inducing all at the same time. How on Earth was I going to start watching what I eat right before a holiday weekend, with my sister visiting, a wedding, a couple of lunch meetings, sending Bea off to school, and any number of other factors and issues?
By just doing it, that's how.
Life happens. There will ALWAYS be weddings and funerals and birthdays and celebrations and life events, and using them as an excuse to start "next week" or have a "bad day" is lame. Here is where I draw inspiration from Sooz: the girl drinks and socializes to her heart's content. She eats (essentially) whatever she wants, within reason. She balances her socializing with training like a mad woman and also being careful about her eating: if she has a sushi dinner date planned, she will eat gently the rest of the day to accommodate. If she wants a crazy insane cheeseburger, she works out to cancel out the intake. She's never minced words about that. If our law school tribe asks her to go out to lunch and we're going somewhere incompatible with her plan for that day, she simply declines. We all know it's not personal with Sooz...while we love her company, and she ours, we just get it. It's not personal to us; it's personal to her, and we all have priorities. I think law school has desensitized us to taking things personally; I am far more likely to take a "no" at face value and move on than ever before.
And so, thinking about Sooz, I approached last week by eating gently whenever nothing was planned, and trying not to worry too much about situations like Jon & Julia's wedding last Saturday, or the State Fair, or whatever. I hate denying myself when I'm out! What's the point of going to a wedding if you're going to feel guilty about eating wedding cake and boozing up the groom? (For the record, I probably need to temper this attitude a *little*. Fuzzy navels all night and three(!) pieces of wedding cake might be considered a little excessive, but I only did one tequila shot with the groom. Only one! And I do love myself the tequila. PATRON, baby!) I also did a little mitigation by choosing the vegetarian plated dinner, which turned out to be a delicious butternut squash ravioli with leeks and a very light cream sauce. NOM.
As for the State Fair, well... let's be frank: there was no temperance there. None can be had, I'm convinced. The choice then, is to go once a year and get it out of your system, and give yourself the day to enjoy, or to not go at all.
My goal for last week was to eat breakfast every day, and I'm proud to say I did it. I hauled the blender out, and when I didn't have breakfast plans, I made a 5-Factor Smoothie for myself, following Harley Pasternak's recipe (below). I plan to continue this, as it really worked for me. Smoothies are quick, portable and tasty, and have enough natural sugar in the fruit to sate my sweet tooth.
Mara had to work late last Thursday, so we put off our weigh-in until Saturday evening (last night), before we went out for her birthday(which...awesome! Donny Dirk's Zombie Den gets two thumbs up, and Psycho Suzi's lives up to its reputation.)
The Results
Last week's weight: 288.0
This week's weight: 285.6
Weekly change: -2.4
Net change: -2.4
Not bad for a busy, social week!
This week's goals: continue with the smoothies/breakfast, and exercise a total of 180 minutes. That's 3x an hour-long workout, or 6x 30 mins, or most likely, 2 hour-long sessions and 2 30 minute sessions. I'm going to make it a point to get baby Elle in the stroller and go for a nice long walk a couple times this week, and we have found a new babysitter, and the school pool opens this week for fall hours, so SWIMMING!
By just doing it, that's how.
Life happens. There will ALWAYS be weddings and funerals and birthdays and celebrations and life events, and using them as an excuse to start "next week" or have a "bad day" is lame. Here is where I draw inspiration from Sooz: the girl drinks and socializes to her heart's content. She eats (essentially) whatever she wants, within reason. She balances her socializing with training like a mad woman and also being careful about her eating: if she has a sushi dinner date planned, she will eat gently the rest of the day to accommodate. If she wants a crazy insane cheeseburger, she works out to cancel out the intake. She's never minced words about that. If our law school tribe asks her to go out to lunch and we're going somewhere incompatible with her plan for that day, she simply declines. We all know it's not personal with Sooz...while we love her company, and she ours, we just get it. It's not personal to us; it's personal to her, and we all have priorities. I think law school has desensitized us to taking things personally; I am far more likely to take a "no" at face value and move on than ever before.
And so, thinking about Sooz, I approached last week by eating gently whenever nothing was planned, and trying not to worry too much about situations like Jon & Julia's wedding last Saturday, or the State Fair, or whatever. I hate denying myself when I'm out! What's the point of going to a wedding if you're going to feel guilty about eating wedding cake and boozing up the groom? (For the record, I probably need to temper this attitude a *little*. Fuzzy navels all night and three(!) pieces of wedding cake might be considered a little excessive, but I only did one tequila shot with the groom. Only one! And I do love myself the tequila. PATRON, baby!) I also did a little mitigation by choosing the vegetarian plated dinner, which turned out to be a delicious butternut squash ravioli with leeks and a very light cream sauce. NOM.
As for the State Fair, well... let's be frank: there was no temperance there. None can be had, I'm convinced. The choice then, is to go once a year and get it out of your system, and give yourself the day to enjoy, or to not go at all.
My goal for last week was to eat breakfast every day, and I'm proud to say I did it. I hauled the blender out, and when I didn't have breakfast plans, I made a 5-Factor Smoothie for myself, following Harley Pasternak's recipe (below). I plan to continue this, as it really worked for me. Smoothies are quick, portable and tasty, and have enough natural sugar in the fruit to sate my sweet tooth.
Mara had to work late last Thursday, so we put off our weigh-in until Saturday evening (last night), before we went out for her birthday(which...awesome! Donny Dirk's Zombie Den gets two thumbs up, and Psycho Suzi's lives up to its reputation.)
The Results
Last week's weight: 288.0
This week's weight: 285.6
Weekly change: -2.4
Net change: -2.4
Not bad for a busy, social week!
This week's goals: continue with the smoothies/breakfast, and exercise a total of 180 minutes. That's 3x an hour-long workout, or 6x 30 mins, or most likely, 2 hour-long sessions and 2 30 minute sessions. I'm going to make it a point to get baby Elle in the stroller and go for a nice long walk a couple times this week, and we have found a new babysitter, and the school pool opens this week for fall hours, so SWIMMING!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Virtual 5K
I challenged a bunch of Facebook friends to do Couch to 5k with me and do a 5K over the Labor Day weekend. Due to aches, pains, and a general lack of (enough) training, I put off my 5K until today.
I am pleased to report that I survived with no pain, no sore feet, no sore hips, no sore back, and finished in a time of 51:05.
My personal best came in 2006 at the height of my training, and it was a 40:16. I have never broken 40 minutes. A 51 is really slow and I walked except about 5 minutes of it, but I did it, without hurt, and with a negative split (the second half was faster than the first.)
I plan to go for another 5K this week and see if I can't break 50. I'm starting to feel my training come back to me, and it's an amazing feeling.
Today was also eight years since That Day. Unlike years past, I didn't dwell on the details. I remembered what happened, and decided my best tribute to the fallen (on all sides) was to say a silent prayer, enjoy the blessings of my day, revel in the September sun, and give thanks for new leadership and the hope of change.
Although we are healing and moving on as a country from the horrific acts of that day, I will never forget.
I am pleased to report that I survived with no pain, no sore feet, no sore hips, no sore back, and finished in a time of 51:05.
My personal best came in 2006 at the height of my training, and it was a 40:16. I have never broken 40 minutes. A 51 is really slow and I walked except about 5 minutes of it, but I did it, without hurt, and with a negative split (the second half was faster than the first.)
I plan to go for another 5K this week and see if I can't break 50. I'm starting to feel my training come back to me, and it's an amazing feeling.
Today was also eight years since That Day. Unlike years past, I didn't dwell on the details. I remembered what happened, and decided my best tribute to the fallen (on all sides) was to say a silent prayer, enjoy the blessings of my day, revel in the September sun, and give thanks for new leadership and the hope of change.
Although we are healing and moving on as a country from the horrific acts of that day, I will never forget.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
First Day of First Grade
So the school bus came and picked Bea up this morning, and I am officially the mother of a first grader. Child, weren't you born about a month ago?
My sister visited this past weekend and brought her new guy with her. He's very nice, polite, good sense of humor and is absolutely head over heels for her. He's good people, and after all she's been through, a Nice Guy is absolutely what she deserves. We had a wild and crazy 48 hours, including boating on the St. Croix with Kate and a trip to the State Fair.
Oh my, the State Fair. Where food on sticks reigns supreme. I think I consumed enough fat for a month. My only saving grace is all the walking around we did, which probably burned up about half the calories we ate. Seriously: french fries, fried cheese on a stick, cheese curds, hot dogs, hamburgers, cheesecake on a stick, footlong corndogs on a stick, Sweet Martha's Cookies (a bucket full!), lemonade, cotton candy, funnel cake... you name it. We didn't get to try the pot roast sundae or the Nacho Mama, and we saved the hotdish on a stick for next year. But oh my God... I am going to spend the next two days in detox. Fortunately, I think I reigned myself in well enough the rest of the week.
Jon & Julia also got married this weekend, and I ate 3 pieces (yes, three, seriously) of wedding cake (and it was delicious!) and got delightfully drunk at the reception. Oh, alcohol...you are so tasty and intoxicating going down, and so caloric two days afterward...big props to Kate for bringing me home, as I was not in any shape to drive. Needless to say, the wedding feast will be a factor on Thursday as well.
All in all, it was a really wonderful weekend, spent with friends and family, enjoying life and living out loud. I love our life in Minnesota; we have more friends and are more social, our kids are thriving, and I'm beginning to see beyond what brought us here (law school) and what will keep us here. It's starting to feel like home, and though I'll always remember my hometown fondly, and will visit often (as I have friends and memories there as well), I'm starting to picture my girls growing up here, and imagining what that might look like.
I like what I'm starting to see.
My sister visited this past weekend and brought her new guy with her. He's very nice, polite, good sense of humor and is absolutely head over heels for her. He's good people, and after all she's been through, a Nice Guy is absolutely what she deserves. We had a wild and crazy 48 hours, including boating on the St. Croix with Kate and a trip to the State Fair.
Oh my, the State Fair. Where food on sticks reigns supreme. I think I consumed enough fat for a month. My only saving grace is all the walking around we did, which probably burned up about half the calories we ate. Seriously: french fries, fried cheese on a stick, cheese curds, hot dogs, hamburgers, cheesecake on a stick, footlong corndogs on a stick, Sweet Martha's Cookies (a bucket full!), lemonade, cotton candy, funnel cake... you name it. We didn't get to try the pot roast sundae or the Nacho Mama, and we saved the hotdish on a stick for next year. But oh my God... I am going to spend the next two days in detox. Fortunately, I think I reigned myself in well enough the rest of the week.
Jon & Julia also got married this weekend, and I ate 3 pieces (yes, three, seriously) of wedding cake (and it was delicious!) and got delightfully drunk at the reception. Oh, alcohol...you are so tasty and intoxicating going down, and so caloric two days afterward...big props to Kate for bringing me home, as I was not in any shape to drive. Needless to say, the wedding feast will be a factor on Thursday as well.
All in all, it was a really wonderful weekend, spent with friends and family, enjoying life and living out loud. I love our life in Minnesota; we have more friends and are more social, our kids are thriving, and I'm beginning to see beyond what brought us here (law school) and what will keep us here. It's starting to feel like home, and though I'll always remember my hometown fondly, and will visit often (as I have friends and memories there as well), I'm starting to picture my girls growing up here, and imagining what that might look like.
I like what I'm starting to see.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Starting Over (Again)
As I mentioned in my last post, I'm restarting my efforts to lose weight. The fact is that I've been fat my entire adult life, and not much has changed that. However, I've never been this fat before, and it has really hit home with me. I can't train the way I want to, I hurt in places I shouldn't, and I'm far too young to be this disenchanted. I should love the way my body looks, feels and moves, and to be brutally honest, I never have. I don't know what it feels like.
But I want to find out.
I can't afford to go back to Weight W@tchers, and I wasn't thrilled with the leader I found here. She always emphasized "size" and "clothes" and yes, those things are important, but for someone like me, emphasis on health and good habits are far more motivating.
We're constantly bombarded with information on diet, and yet we're all still fat. I've come to the conclusion that it all comes down to the basics: portion control, exercise, eating whole foods and practicing everything in moderation, including moderation. In other words, yes, you must cheat in order to succeed. But then, it's not cheating, is it?
This may sound overly complicated, but I'm planning to do a combination of Biggest Loser, WW, Five-Factor and Insulin Resistance, taking the best of each of those programs and making it work for my situation. And I'm going to blog it, because I do well when I am accountable, and writing is my release. I don't want to turn this into a weight loss blog, any more than I wanted to turn it into a pregnancy blog or a law school blog or a triathlon blog or a "whatever" blog. It is meta, but that's okay, because it's me, and this is what I happen to be doing right now.
My dear friend and fellow fangirl Mara and I are doing this together. We are meeting on Thursday nights and she started a notebook for us with goals and weight. Each week, we'll walk two miles or so, and weigh in on her scale (hers is better than mine). I will post my weight and goal, for all the world and Internet to see, because it's embarrassing and public, and what I need to do.
So then. It begins.
The Program and Mission Statement:
I will(loosely) follow the P0ints program to measure food intake. I will watch calories, but I will also listen to my body and eat deliberately, stopping when full and fueling when hungry. I will balance my meals in order to track carbs. I will eat my fruits and veggies and drink my water. I will rest, and I will train.
I will turn to my friends and my blog in times of trouble. I will revel in my successes, and find resolve in my failures. There will be both. I will use the joy of cooking to learn how to fuel my body.
WEEK ONE
Weight: 288.0
Goal: Eat breakfast every day this week, without fail. This is a hard thing for me, as I've never been a breakfast eater. However, I have adopted Harley Pasternak's 5-Factor Smoothie as my breakfast of choice, and it is both tasty and quick.
But I want to find out.
I can't afford to go back to Weight W@tchers, and I wasn't thrilled with the leader I found here. She always emphasized "size" and "clothes" and yes, those things are important, but for someone like me, emphasis on health and good habits are far more motivating.
We're constantly bombarded with information on diet, and yet we're all still fat. I've come to the conclusion that it all comes down to the basics: portion control, exercise, eating whole foods and practicing everything in moderation, including moderation. In other words, yes, you must cheat in order to succeed. But then, it's not cheating, is it?
This may sound overly complicated, but I'm planning to do a combination of Biggest Loser, WW, Five-Factor and Insulin Resistance, taking the best of each of those programs and making it work for my situation. And I'm going to blog it, because I do well when I am accountable, and writing is my release. I don't want to turn this into a weight loss blog, any more than I wanted to turn it into a pregnancy blog or a law school blog or a triathlon blog or a "whatever" blog. It is meta, but that's okay, because it's me, and this is what I happen to be doing right now.
My dear friend and fellow fangirl Mara and I are doing this together. We are meeting on Thursday nights and she started a notebook for us with goals and weight. Each week, we'll walk two miles or so, and weigh in on her scale (hers is better than mine). I will post my weight and goal, for all the world and Internet to see, because it's embarrassing and public, and what I need to do.
So then. It begins.
The Program and Mission Statement:
I will(loosely) follow the P0ints program to measure food intake. I will watch calories, but I will also listen to my body and eat deliberately, stopping when full and fueling when hungry. I will balance my meals in order to track carbs. I will eat my fruits and veggies and drink my water. I will rest, and I will train.
I will turn to my friends and my blog in times of trouble. I will revel in my successes, and find resolve in my failures. There will be both. I will use the joy of cooking to learn how to fuel my body.
WEEK ONE
Weight: 288.0
Goal: Eat breakfast every day this week, without fail. This is a hard thing for me, as I've never been a breakfast eater. However, I have adopted Harley Pasternak's 5-Factor Smoothie as my breakfast of choice, and it is both tasty and quick.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Need To Do This
More later, I'm on my way to take the girls to the indoor waterpark. School started 3 weeks ago for me, next week for Bea. My sister is visiting this weekend with her (GASP) fiance (oh yeah, I've been away for a loooooooooong time), Dad came and visited a few weeks ago (!!!)
Yes, Internet. We're long overdue for a nice, long chat. Bring the booze.
In the mean time, I did a false start with WW in May/June, but I managed to keep off 10 of 15 pounds lost. Time to get back on the wagon, without the $20 per week group therapy. More on this too.
Food Diary for Today:
Breakfast
5-Factor Fuze Smoothie (Fage plain yogurt, 1 medium orange, 1/2 Fuze Mango)
5 pts/55 carbs/15g protein
Lunch
Amy's Tamale Verde frozen dinner
7 pts/55 carbs/ 7g protein
Snacks
1/2 fuze 2 pts
1 banana 2 pts
Cheese curds 3 pts
Dinner
No Name Salmon Filet 7pts
1 cup organic uncooked spinach 0 pts
For now, I'm going to follow a combination of the point system to calculate volume, the 5-Factor plan and insulin resistance guidelines to decide what to eat, and in general, limiting the amount of white bread, HFCS, and overall empty calories. I will probably also experiment with a "cheat day" - but I know myself fairly well, and I might start with a "cheat meal" once a week, rather than a full-on cheat day. Believe me when I tell you that one cheat day can be justified and extended into a full-on three day "weekend" of cheating.
I'm also going to be blogging about it. With any luck this will work and I can take a few pounds off before the holidays. Okay, more than a few. Okay, as much as I can. I'm hoping that's in the 25-35 pound range.
Yes, Internet. We're long overdue for a nice, long chat. Bring the booze.
In the mean time, I did a false start with WW in May/June, but I managed to keep off 10 of 15 pounds lost. Time to get back on the wagon, without the $20 per week group therapy. More on this too.
Food Diary for Today:
Breakfast
5-Factor Fuze Smoothie (Fage plain yogurt, 1 medium orange, 1/2 Fuze Mango)
5 pts/55 carbs/15g protein
Lunch
Amy's Tamale Verde frozen dinner
7 pts/55 carbs/ 7g protein
Snacks
1/2 fuze 2 pts
1 banana 2 pts
Cheese curds 3 pts
Dinner
No Name Salmon Filet 7pts
1 cup organic uncooked spinach 0 pts
For now, I'm going to follow a combination of the point system to calculate volume, the 5-Factor plan and insulin resistance guidelines to decide what to eat, and in general, limiting the amount of white bread, HFCS, and overall empty calories. I will probably also experiment with a "cheat day" - but I know myself fairly well, and I might start with a "cheat meal" once a week, rather than a full-on cheat day. Believe me when I tell you that one cheat day can be justified and extended into a full-on three day "weekend" of cheating.
I'm also going to be blogging about it. With any luck this will work and I can take a few pounds off before the holidays. Okay, more than a few. Okay, as much as I can. I'm hoping that's in the 25-35 pound range.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Answer
I see so much pain in the eyes of so many. I wonder sometimes what I will do with this big fancy education I'm working on. I worry that sometimes my pursuit is futile, because sometimes you can only help people who want help. Sometimes the people who need it most don't know it.
All I can do is be there. I don't know if I can give any answers, but I can be there.
I will help, if only they ask.
I will be the answer
At the end of the line
I will be there for you
While you take the time
In the burning of uncertainty
I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance
If you can't look down
If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all gone out
You'll still be burning so bright
Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind
Take me to a
Place so holy
That I can wash this from my mind
The memory of choosing not to fight
If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
'Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all burned out
You'll still be burning so bright
Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind
-Sarah McLachlan, "Answer"
All I can do is be there. I don't know if I can give any answers, but I can be there.
I will help, if only they ask.
I will be the answer
At the end of the line
I will be there for you
While you take the time
In the burning of uncertainty
I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance
If you can't look down
If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all gone out
You'll still be burning so bright
Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind
Take me to a
Place so holy
That I can wash this from my mind
The memory of choosing not to fight
If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
'Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all burned out
You'll still be burning so bright
Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind
-Sarah McLachlan, "Answer"
Friday, May 22, 2009
Ten
I got tired of waiting, wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you was fading when I met you on the outskirts of town, and I said,
"Romeo, save me I've been feeling so alone, I keep waiting for you but you never come; is this in my head? I don't know what to think"
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring
And said, "marry me Juliet, You'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all I really know,
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress
It's a love story baby just say yes..."
'Cause we were both young when I first saw you...
-- "Love Story", Taylor Swift
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Constant Cravings
I went to college in Texas. There are some AMAZING things about Texas: the weather, the people, and THE FOOD. My God, the food. Steak? Check. Best Chinese food ever? Check. (Chinatown Cafe.) Cajun? You betcha. (Razzoo's!) BBQ? Oh, yeah.
And then there's the TexMex. Lord, but do I know why mis amigas hispanas y latinas used to go home on the weekend, and come back with shopping bags laden with Tupperware full of arroz con garbanzos, enchiladas de pollo, chiles rellenos fresh salsa, and of course, homemade guacamole and tortillas. Around the holidays, there was no shortage of tamales, and no holiday party was complete without a big Crock-Pot of queso dip and tortilla chips. Yes, I developed a discerning palate for authentic Tex-Mex food, and it lasts even to this day. Alas, my poor Northern brethren are lacking in true Tex-Mex restaurants. We have a few that come close, but man... when all you want is a sopaipilla the size of your fist, steaming hot from the fryer, sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar, and ready to be slathered in melted butter and honey...
Nothing comes close to the original.
And then there's the TexMex. Lord, but do I know why mis amigas hispanas y latinas used to go home on the weekend, and come back with shopping bags laden with Tupperware full of arroz con garbanzos, enchiladas de pollo, chiles rellenos fresh salsa, and of course, homemade guacamole and tortillas. Around the holidays, there was no shortage of tamales, and no holiday party was complete without a big Crock-Pot of queso dip and tortilla chips. Yes, I developed a discerning palate for authentic Tex-Mex food, and it lasts even to this day. Alas, my poor Northern brethren are lacking in true Tex-Mex restaurants. We have a few that come close, but man... when all you want is a sopaipilla the size of your fist, steaming hot from the fryer, sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar, and ready to be slathered in melted butter and honey...
Nothing comes close to the original.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Sweet Baby James
Because I did it for her sister yesterday, and because she's always on my mind. This one's for sweet baby Elle. I'm a big believer in singing "real" songs to kids, not just lullabies and kid music. It has its place, for certain, but in the car and on the stereo at home, we listen to Mom's Music. And that is not just John Mayer, but 10,000 Maniacs, Pearl Jam, Dixie Chicks, the Cities Sampler, Sara Barielles, and yes, James Taylor. The song was written as a lullaby for JT's nephew and namesake, and it has always been a favorite of mine. When Elle responded to it, it became special on a completely different level.
This vid is nice because you get to hear the story of JT's nephew, the original "ornery little varmint" named baby James.
There is a young cowboy, he lives on the range.
His horse and his cattle are his only companions;
He works in the saddle and he sleeps in the canyons,
Waiting for summer, his pastures to change
And as the moon rises, he sits by his fire,
Thinking about women and glasses of beer;
And closing his eyes as the dogies retire,
He sings out a song which is soft but it's clear, as if maybe someone could hear.
Goodnight, you moonlight ladies; rockabye sweet baby James...
Deep greens and blues are the colors I choose;
Won't you let me go down in my dreams?
And rockabye sweet baby James.
Now the first of December was covered with snow,
And so was the turnpike from Stockbridge to Boston.
Lord, the Berkshires seemed dreamlike on account of that frosting,
With ten miles behind me and ten thousand more to go...
There's a song that they sing when they take to the highway,
A song that they sing when they take to the sea,
A song that they sing of their home in the sky—
Maybe you can believe it if it helps you to sleep,
But singing works just fine for me...
So, goodnight, you moonlight ladies; and rockabye sweet baby James
Deep greens and blues are the colors I choose;
Won't you let me go down in my dreams?
And rockabye sweet baby James.
This vid is nice because you get to hear the story of JT's nephew, the original "ornery little varmint" named baby James.
There is a young cowboy, he lives on the range.
His horse and his cattle are his only companions;
He works in the saddle and he sleeps in the canyons,
Waiting for summer, his pastures to change
And as the moon rises, he sits by his fire,
Thinking about women and glasses of beer;
And closing his eyes as the dogies retire,
He sings out a song which is soft but it's clear, as if maybe someone could hear.
Goodnight, you moonlight ladies; rockabye sweet baby James...
Deep greens and blues are the colors I choose;
Won't you let me go down in my dreams?
And rockabye sweet baby James.
Now the first of December was covered with snow,
And so was the turnpike from Stockbridge to Boston.
Lord, the Berkshires seemed dreamlike on account of that frosting,
With ten miles behind me and ten thousand more to go...
There's a song that they sing when they take to the highway,
A song that they sing when they take to the sea,
A song that they sing of their home in the sky—
Maybe you can believe it if it helps you to sleep,
But singing works just fine for me...
So, goodnight, you moonlight ladies; and rockabye sweet baby James
Deep greens and blues are the colors I choose;
Won't you let me go down in my dreams?
And rockabye sweet baby James.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Blossom
Because I am thinking about my big girl Bea, and this song always reminds me of her.
Blossom, smile some sunshine down my way
Lately, Ive been lonesome
Blossom, its been much too long a day
Seems my dreams have frozen
Melt my cares away
Send the sunshine down my way whenever you call my name
I know what you mean to say to me, girl, its all the same
Blossom, theres an empty road behind
Sit you down beside me
Blossom, theres a sweet dream on my mind
Theres a song inside me
Take these chains away
Now, send the sunshine down my way whenever you call my name
I know what you mean to say to me, girl, its all the same
Blossom, smile some sunshine down my way
Lately, Ive been lonesome
Blossom, its been much too long a day
Seems my dreams have frozen
Melt my cares away
Blossom, smile some sunshine down my way
Lately, Ive been lonesome
Blossom, its been much too long a day
Seems my dreams have frozen
Melt my cares away
Send the sunshine down my way whenever you call my name
I know what you mean to say to me, girl, its all the same
Blossom, theres an empty road behind
Sit you down beside me
Blossom, theres a sweet dream on my mind
Theres a song inside me
Take these chains away
Now, send the sunshine down my way whenever you call my name
I know what you mean to say to me, girl, its all the same
Blossom, smile some sunshine down my way
Lately, Ive been lonesome
Blossom, its been much too long a day
Seems my dreams have frozen
Melt my cares away
Thursday, February 26, 2009
In The Pain, There is Healing
I was all set to write a fun little entry about my girls; about their general adorablenesses and proclivities, a little compare and contrast of two little people who share parents and blue eyes but not much else. Even a couple of months in, I can already tell: they are two distinctly different people. They look nothing alike, they have two different temperaments, two totally different personalities. They are both feisty in their own ways: Bea is gregarious and outspoken, unapologetic and demonstrative. Elle, on the other hand, is quieter and more laid back. I remember Bea being a very shy toddler; she's grown into her extroversion. I wonder if Elle will do the same, but it wouldn't surprise me if her temperament won't sway to the "strong but quiet" side of the spectrum.
But that's not what's on my mind this morning.
I'm thinking about the fact that we're supposed to have upwards of six inches of snow on the ground starting any minute now.
Bea starts her Level 2 swimming lessons tonight; hoping the weather won't cancel them. Also thinking about the fact that I need to run to the store, and should probably do that before the snow gets bad.
And what I'm procrastinating writing about is the fact that I got an email from my dad yesterday, asking if he could come visit over spring break. He is one of the things I don't write about much. I'm sure anyone who has read my blog long enough or knows me and has talked to me for any length of time realizes what a source of conflict and hurt he's been in my life. I've been working with a counselor in the last year or so to get my head straight, and in doing that I've gained a lot of perspective on my life and capabilities. I've learned to be strong and honest, because if I am anything less, I am hurting myself, and my family in the process.
I wrote this to him (excerpted):
As for visiting... I understand that you miss us, but I need to be honest with you here: I'm not sure about it. The fact is that right now I'm not very confident in our relationship -- such as it is. As I've told you before, I've gotten through a lot of anger and resentment toward you and your actions. I don't know if you know exactly how badly your actions hurt all of us, and it's not as simple as saying "sorry, guys" and picking right back up. This is a big piece of the fallout resulting from your choices, and it is something you are going to have to live with for awhile...
I don't know if you've figured out that it's been over a year since we even talked on the phone, and June will be two years since we've seen each other. I am not sure that a visit is in my deck of cards just yet. If there's something you can tell me to change my mind, the floor's open. I've been open and honest with you regarding my feelings - brutally so, because it's the only way I can function. I need you to return that honesty, without pulling punches or using semantics or worrying about being proper or tactful. I want to find some way of having a meaningful relationship with you, but I can't do it unless I know your side of the story.
I'm listening.
But that's not what's on my mind this morning.
I'm thinking about the fact that we're supposed to have upwards of six inches of snow on the ground starting any minute now.
Bea starts her Level 2 swimming lessons tonight; hoping the weather won't cancel them. Also thinking about the fact that I need to run to the store, and should probably do that before the snow gets bad.
And what I'm procrastinating writing about is the fact that I got an email from my dad yesterday, asking if he could come visit over spring break. He is one of the things I don't write about much. I'm sure anyone who has read my blog long enough or knows me and has talked to me for any length of time realizes what a source of conflict and hurt he's been in my life. I've been working with a counselor in the last year or so to get my head straight, and in doing that I've gained a lot of perspective on my life and capabilities. I've learned to be strong and honest, because if I am anything less, I am hurting myself, and my family in the process.
I wrote this to him (excerpted):
As for visiting... I understand that you miss us, but I need to be honest with you here: I'm not sure about it. The fact is that right now I'm not very confident in our relationship -- such as it is. As I've told you before, I've gotten through a lot of anger and resentment toward you and your actions. I don't know if you know exactly how badly your actions hurt all of us, and it's not as simple as saying "sorry, guys" and picking right back up. This is a big piece of the fallout resulting from your choices, and it is something you are going to have to live with for awhile...
I don't know if you've figured out that it's been over a year since we even talked on the phone, and June will be two years since we've seen each other. I am not sure that a visit is in my deck of cards just yet. If there's something you can tell me to change my mind, the floor's open. I've been open and honest with you regarding my feelings - brutally so, because it's the only way I can function. I need you to return that honesty, without pulling punches or using semantics or worrying about being proper or tactful. I want to find some way of having a meaningful relationship with you, but I can't do it unless I know your side of the story.
I'm listening.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Ash Wednesday 2009
In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread till thou return unto the ground, for out of it wast thou taken; for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.
Genesis 3:19
So. Usually for Lent, if one observes it, one must give up something enjoyable for the 40 days of the season. It is a time of reflection and sacrifice, and the idea is to remember what Christ did for us in sacrificing his life for our salvation. It is a recognition of blessings, and a denial of self. A mechanism in humility.
Now, Holy Mother Church doesn't run my life, but I once heard a priest say that he thought Lent was more about self improvement than it was about self-sacrifice. Rather than hurting and feeling pain, he said, a better way to celebrate Lent is to pick an area of your life to improve, and work diligently at it for those 40 straight days.
I like that idea.
Since I've neglected this blog since Elle's birth, I have decided that I will write every single day during Lent. It might be a blurb, it might be a song lyric, it might be nothing at all. But I will write. Blogging means so much to me and it really does help me stay grounded, and I've let that get away in the last few months. It also gets me going; part of my routine last semester was to try and blog or write down some thoughts before I studied. It helped me focus and clear my mind, and that's something that needs to happen more often, especially with the unpredictability of having an infant in the house.
Genesis 3:19
So. Usually for Lent, if one observes it, one must give up something enjoyable for the 40 days of the season. It is a time of reflection and sacrifice, and the idea is to remember what Christ did for us in sacrificing his life for our salvation. It is a recognition of blessings, and a denial of self. A mechanism in humility.
Now, Holy Mother Church doesn't run my life, but I once heard a priest say that he thought Lent was more about self improvement than it was about self-sacrifice. Rather than hurting and feeling pain, he said, a better way to celebrate Lent is to pick an area of your life to improve, and work diligently at it for those 40 straight days.
I like that idea.
Since I've neglected this blog since Elle's birth, I have decided that I will write every single day during Lent. It might be a blurb, it might be a song lyric, it might be nothing at all. But I will write. Blogging means so much to me and it really does help me stay grounded, and I've let that get away in the last few months. It also gets me going; part of my routine last semester was to try and blog or write down some thoughts before I studied. It helped me focus and clear my mind, and that's something that needs to happen more often, especially with the unpredictability of having an infant in the house.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Naming Names
For the last couple of years, I've referred to my firstborn daughter on this blog as "The Girl." Easy enough, right? My husband is "The Boy", and that's also easy enough to distinguish. I do this to maintain privacy -- my name is out there, and if you know me, you know them, and that's fine. However, my husband's business is such that he does not want a social online presence, and I am a lioness when it comes to my kids. Therefore, it's in everyone's best interests to remain nameless.
However.
We now have a second child, who is also a girl. This complicates things. (See, even at birth, women are complicated. L2Deal, men...) How would I distinguish the two? I didn't want to call her "the baby" because she won't be one for very long, and I didn't want to give her a name and not give her sister a name, or vice-versa. So I thought about it (for about ten seconds) and came up with the following.
I have a Big Girl.
I have a Little Girl.
B.G. and L.G.
B and L.
Bea and Elle!!
Therefore! Henceforth, the Girl will be known as Bea, and the baby will be known as Elle. Both are pseudonyms, but easy, namey sort-of things, which are cute in their own girly way. I could send these names to school and the teacher wouldn't look at me in a weird way.
So. There you have it. Hope it's not too confusing for anyone.
However.
We now have a second child, who is also a girl. This complicates things. (See, even at birth, women are complicated. L2Deal, men...) How would I distinguish the two? I didn't want to call her "the baby" because she won't be one for very long, and I didn't want to give her a name and not give her sister a name, or vice-versa. So I thought about it (for about ten seconds) and came up with the following.
I have a Big Girl.
I have a Little Girl.
B.G. and L.G.
B and L.
Bea and Elle!!
Therefore! Henceforth, the Girl will be known as Bea, and the baby will be known as Elle. Both are pseudonyms, but easy, namey sort-of things, which are cute in their own girly way. I could send these names to school and the teacher wouldn't look at me in a weird way.
So. There you have it. Hope it's not too confusing for anyone.
Monday, February 2, 2009
32 Days of Ketchup
Okay wow! I just broke my own non-blogging record, and in a big, big way. Of course, I have a tremendous excuse for doing so, since I did the following:
1. Gave birth (and liveblogged it, which I will likely import over here when/if time permits);
2. Recovered from said birth (and still doing so for another ten days; post-partum is officially 42 days long according to the doc);
3. Started back to school;
4. Got the Girl started back to school;
5. Survived the usual January blast of Minnesota arctic chill; and
6. Watched the Steelers win the Super Bowl!
So I've had a busy month!
The birth itself went about as well as I could have expected, considering I had a repeat c-section. I liveblogged it and will probably eventually take that blog down and import everything over here so it can be properly archived.
School (so far) is going well. There are ups and downs to my current schedule. The major plus is that I only have ONE (yes one!) written final this term, for Evidence. I am told it's a major pain, so I will likely take as much time as I need to study for it and then take it when I'm ready. Another major plus: two of my classes are done either shortly before Easter or shortly after it, and these are the classes that meet on the weekend days this term. Score! I can handle two classes on Friday if that's the only day of the week I have to sit in class.
Downside? TWO major writing projects (a motion brief and a paper) and a mock trial to run for Trial Advocacy. I suppose it could be worse -- but it just means that each week I will have a LOT of prep work, rather than pacing through 14 weeks of reading and outlining, then 3 weeks of final crunch.
And then I'm HALFWAY done with law school! How'd that happen, y'all??
I'm sure there's more... like how the baby likes it when I sing Paul Simon and James Taylor ("Me and Julio Down By The Schoolyard" is a favorite) and how geeked I am that things are looking up in terms of a new JM album this year. I still wish I could have gone on MCC2, but I'll deal. After all, if there is a tour coming up this fall, then Santa will know what to leave in my stocking. And I STILL need to get my autographed copy of Continuum framed and hung in the baby's room.
Until then, it's me doing my thing: studying when the baby sleeps, typing one-handed when she doesn't, looking forward to longer, warmer days and enjoying the sunshine when we get it.
I must say -- I am jealous of my cousin's husband. He got to GO to the Superbowl this year and saw the boys bring home #6 in person. At the very least, he had the decency to take his dad with him to the big game, and he mentioned that it was a childhood fantasy come true. (After that 4th quarter comeback, I hope it was worth it!) I jest in my purported jealousy; it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy in all honesty.
And now I must return to my regularly scheduled day of baby-wrangling, kitchen-cleaning, laundry-folding and general de-cluttering. BBQ crockpot ribs for dinner tonight. Woo!
1. Gave birth (and liveblogged it, which I will likely import over here when/if time permits);
2. Recovered from said birth (and still doing so for another ten days; post-partum is officially 42 days long according to the doc);
3. Started back to school;
4. Got the Girl started back to school;
5. Survived the usual January blast of Minnesota arctic chill; and
6. Watched the Steelers win the Super Bowl!
So I've had a busy month!
The birth itself went about as well as I could have expected, considering I had a repeat c-section. I liveblogged it and will probably eventually take that blog down and import everything over here so it can be properly archived.
School (so far) is going well. There are ups and downs to my current schedule. The major plus is that I only have ONE (yes one!) written final this term, for Evidence. I am told it's a major pain, so I will likely take as much time as I need to study for it and then take it when I'm ready. Another major plus: two of my classes are done either shortly before Easter or shortly after it, and these are the classes that meet on the weekend days this term. Score! I can handle two classes on Friday if that's the only day of the week I have to sit in class.
Downside? TWO major writing projects (a motion brief and a paper) and a mock trial to run for Trial Advocacy. I suppose it could be worse -- but it just means that each week I will have a LOT of prep work, rather than pacing through 14 weeks of reading and outlining, then 3 weeks of final crunch.
And then I'm HALFWAY done with law school! How'd that happen, y'all??
I'm sure there's more... like how the baby likes it when I sing Paul Simon and James Taylor ("Me and Julio Down By The Schoolyard" is a favorite) and how geeked I am that things are looking up in terms of a new JM album this year. I still wish I could have gone on MCC2, but I'll deal. After all, if there is a tour coming up this fall, then Santa will know what to leave in my stocking. And I STILL need to get my autographed copy of Continuum framed and hung in the baby's room.
Until then, it's me doing my thing: studying when the baby sleeps, typing one-handed when she doesn't, looking forward to longer, warmer days and enjoying the sunshine when we get it.
I must say -- I am jealous of my cousin's husband. He got to GO to the Superbowl this year and saw the boys bring home #6 in person. At the very least, he had the decency to take his dad with him to the big game, and he mentioned that it was a childhood fantasy come true. (After that 4th quarter comeback, I hope it was worth it!) I jest in my purported jealousy; it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy in all honesty.
And now I must return to my regularly scheduled day of baby-wrangling, kitchen-cleaning, laundry-folding and general de-cluttering. BBQ crockpot ribs for dinner tonight. Woo!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Hospital #10: Cleared for Re-Entry
Got the official word from on high: Bean and I are headed home tomorrow morning, after the docs give us each a last look-see and we get our discharge papers. The unit coordinator was nice enough to come over and get the birth certificate and social security paperwork out of the way, so all we need is our last checks and we're outta here!
The good news is that we're establishing something of a breastfeeding pattern, but the bad news is that she still lost some weight (not uncommon after birth), but she lost a little more than they like to see, so we're supplementing with some formula, and I'm going to be pumping in order to increase my own milk supply. The LC said mixing in an ounce of formula with 2-3 oz of breastmilk will be fine, so it's a true supplement - just enough to help fill her tummy until I can catch up to her. I think my milk should be coming in fairly soon, and the other nice benefit is that I get a spare set of parts for my personal breastpump.
The bags are packed, the Bean is still down (and isn't due for another feeding for about 3 hours or so, and I'm tired, so I think I'm going to try and get some sleep. Next entry will probably be from home (thank God!) I will have my husband bring the camera back so we can post a few going-home shots, and even though it's the end of the birth journey, it's the start of a life journey for us and our new addition.
I'm so glad you are all along for the ride.
The good news is that we're establishing something of a breastfeeding pattern, but the bad news is that she still lost some weight (not uncommon after birth), but she lost a little more than they like to see, so we're supplementing with some formula, and I'm going to be pumping in order to increase my own milk supply. The LC said mixing in an ounce of formula with 2-3 oz of breastmilk will be fine, so it's a true supplement - just enough to help fill her tummy until I can catch up to her. I think my milk should be coming in fairly soon, and the other nice benefit is that I get a spare set of parts for my personal breastpump.
The bags are packed, the Bean is still down (and isn't due for another feeding for about 3 hours or so, and I'm tired, so I think I'm going to try and get some sleep. Next entry will probably be from home (thank God!) I will have my husband bring the camera back so we can post a few going-home shots, and even though it's the end of the birth journey, it's the start of a life journey for us and our new addition.
I'm so glad you are all along for the ride.
Hospital #9: Recovering
It's hard to believe that Baby Bean is barely 40 hours old. I think that the maternal amnesia is setting in: when you have a baby you immediately forget what life was like "before."
Last night the baby and I were on our own, as my in-laws needed to begin their travels home (a drive of about 900 miles), and we wanted to give them flexibility to leave because the weather here is unpredictable at best in January. Also, he'd been with me the last two nights, and our daughter was lonesome for her Daddy. Understandable. Besides, I have a fleet of nurses and staff at my disposal, at a call button's length away. It's all good, even if it means I have to forego my new year's kiss until this morning. (The baby got hers, though. :) )
I am slowly but surely recovering. Hospital time is slow...very very slow. Yesterday I felt great throughout the day, but the night was a bit of a trial, as I was balancing the baby's needs with my own capabilities in terms of getting in and out of bed. I still hurt and am tender in my abdomen, but once I'm up and going I'm fine and generally pain free. However, if I've been laying down for awhile it takes a fair effort to sit up, and it hurts.
Bean so far is good -- they did her newborn screening yesterday and she passed her hearing test. Her bilirubin came back slightly high, so right now we're just working on breastfeeding so she can get rid of as much of it as possible in the natural way. (Pooping. Babies are very good at that.) I'm not worried about jaundice at this point, because she's been doing well with the breastfeeding, and I think it's just going to take some effort to get things moving and shaking. Besides, we've both had a very busy week.
She's very content -- her social smiles are starting to come through and she's generally laid back. I have a feeling she'll get feisty soon enough, but she sleeps a lot, so much so that I have to violate my cardinal rule of parenting a newborn and wake her up to feed her. At least she doesn't have her days and nights mixed up...at least as far as I can tell.
All signs are pointing to discharge tomorrow, probably in the evening. I hope so...as much as it's nice to be pampered, it will also be nice to be home.
And...I'm being beckoned by Princess Bean over there, busily chewing her fist. Time for second breakfast, I suspect.
Happy New Year, y'all!
Last night the baby and I were on our own, as my in-laws needed to begin their travels home (a drive of about 900 miles), and we wanted to give them flexibility to leave because the weather here is unpredictable at best in January. Also, he'd been with me the last two nights, and our daughter was lonesome for her Daddy. Understandable. Besides, I have a fleet of nurses and staff at my disposal, at a call button's length away. It's all good, even if it means I have to forego my new year's kiss until this morning. (The baby got hers, though. :) )
I am slowly but surely recovering. Hospital time is slow...very very slow. Yesterday I felt great throughout the day, but the night was a bit of a trial, as I was balancing the baby's needs with my own capabilities in terms of getting in and out of bed. I still hurt and am tender in my abdomen, but once I'm up and going I'm fine and generally pain free. However, if I've been laying down for awhile it takes a fair effort to sit up, and it hurts.
Bean so far is good -- they did her newborn screening yesterday and she passed her hearing test. Her bilirubin came back slightly high, so right now we're just working on breastfeeding so she can get rid of as much of it as possible in the natural way. (Pooping. Babies are very good at that.) I'm not worried about jaundice at this point, because she's been doing well with the breastfeeding, and I think it's just going to take some effort to get things moving and shaking. Besides, we've both had a very busy week.
She's very content -- her social smiles are starting to come through and she's generally laid back. I have a feeling she'll get feisty soon enough, but she sleeps a lot, so much so that I have to violate my cardinal rule of parenting a newborn and wake her up to feed her. At least she doesn't have her days and nights mixed up...at least as far as I can tell.
All signs are pointing to discharge tomorrow, probably in the evening. I hope so...as much as it's nice to be pampered, it will also be nice to be home.
And...I'm being beckoned by Princess Bean over there, busily chewing her fist. Time for second breakfast, I suspect.
Happy New Year, y'all!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
2008 Wrap-Up
(Okay, I'm cheating. It's really February 3rd right now, but I wanted to post this. So I backlogged it. I suppose I could have posted it whilst in the hospital over New Years' but you know... baby and stuff.)
1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Did a stint as a stay-at-home mom. Very interesting.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't remember making any, but I did resolve this year to be kinder and gentler to people in thought, word and deed. So far it's been a good mindset to remember.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes! Jen and I both gave birth to beautiful baby girls, and we are waiting on Finn and Baby M (both of unknown gender) to make their appearances this spring. Sharing pregnancy with a girlfriend is an amazing and wonderful thing.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, I don't think so. It was a good year in that respect.
5. What countries did you visit?
Unfortunately, no international travel this year. Mom and Sis went to Ireland, though!
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A really awesome triathlon season. Boy did I ever miss training and competing -- more than I ever thought I would.
7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
January: girls' weekend in Chicago w/Kate & Sooz, saw Buddy Guy in concert
Mother's Day: found out I was pregnant
July 2nd: met John Mayer in person (Milwaukee Summerfest show)
July 3rd: St. Louis JM show
July 17-21st: Girls' weekend in Chicago w/the JM girls; JM Chicago show on the 18th.
August 30-31: Final two JM shows in Florida, road-tripping with Jen
September 8: The Girl's first day of school!
December 17: took a big fall on the ice on my way to school. (I'll tell this story later.)
December 29-30: induction and birth of Baby Bean.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Honestly? 2008 was a real year of transition for me. I think I had a lot of achievements, from massive improvement of my grades, to coming to terms with my parents' divorce and my relationship with my father, to finally getting the family on a budget so we could live without my part time job.
I also feel like my second birth experience vindicated my first, even though it turned out nothing like I thought it would.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Keeping the house decluttered. Honestly...I have laundry and general cleaning down pat. Clutter...just keeps growing like kudzu around here.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Pregnancy is not an illness...but I did have my fair share of ups and downs with this one, including dizzy flashes and serious exhaustion. I took a fall about two weeks before the Bean was born and I don't think I've ever experienced that much consistent pain in my life.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Plane tickets and concert tickets for five (FIVE!) JM summer tour shows.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
The MN voter recount committee. They are doing a hell of a job in deciding the Senate race between Coleman and Franken. Here's to the process at work!
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Sadly, the same as last year: the Bush administration. Thank GOD they are gone and we can get back to the real work of America.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Target! (No really... Target, summer tour travel and probably hospital bills, once they start rolling in.)
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Meeting John Mayer and traveling/meeting new friends. My friends are easily the best benefit of being a JM fan.
16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
"Gravity" by Sara Barielles. For many, many reasons.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Much happier.
b) thinner or fatter? About the same, which is miraculous considering I was pregnant. Be gone, baby weight!
c) richer or poorer? About the same. Probably slightly richer, although that's more likely due to gas prices returning to normal than anything else...
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Things with the Girl during the summertime. We're going to have to make a concerted effort to get out of the house more when school is out, even with the baby.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Complain, argue and feel sorry for myself. Life's too short.
20. How did you spend Christmas? On the couch, almost immobile and recovering from finals. Also preparing for the baby's arrival.
21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Absolutely and without question.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Weeds! We Netflix'ed the first 3 seasons and hello! Awesome!
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Hate is a strong word. I don't hate anyone. I did lose a friend this year, to a stupid and petty argument. I want to make amends, but need to figure out how.
24. What was the best book you read?
Hmmm... didn't get to read much this year, but I'll bite and say "Shadow Cities." Any book that mentions flying toilets gets a big thumbs up!
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Matt Nathanson! (Thanks, Jen!) Possibly re-discovering Jim Croce. Pandora overall rocks pretty hard. And Keri Noble is amazing.
26. What did you want and get?
A healthy baby, a lot of John Mayer, and a new car. (Heinrich!)
27. What did you want and not get?
To do a triathlon and get more in shape.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
I don't know if I had one! I saw a lot of movies -- mostly of the kid variety, though.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Went to Red Robin and had a bowling party!! (I was 31.)
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Dean's List and a scholarship.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Clearance rack at Motherhood Maternity!
32. What kept you sane?
My counselor, and having a Summer of Awesome. I needed the time and the perspective, and it made everything so, so much better.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
A-duh. And I got to meet him this year too!!
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Equality in marriage. For everyone.
35. Who did you miss?
Jordana.
36. Who was the best new person you met? Can I have more than one? The JM Chicago girls! (Jen, Allison, Geneva, Linda, Amanda and Monica), and Cait and Mara. 2008 was fantastic for friend-making.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
It's NEVER too late to let go and start over. And you never know what form or shape that will take.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Joey, baby - don't get crazy
Detours, fences, I get defensive
I know you've heard it all before, so I don't say it anymore
I just stand by and watch you fight your secret war.
Although I used to wonder why, I used to cry 'til I was dry.
Still sometimes I get a strange pain inside,
Oh, Joey, if you're hurting so am I.
Joey, honey - I got some money.
All is forgiven; listen, listen...
And if I seem to be confused, I didn't mean to be with you.
And when you said I scared you, well I guess you scared me too.
But we got lucky once before, and I don't wanna close the door;
And if you're somewhere out there passed out on the floor,
Oh Joey, I'm not angry anymore.
And if I seem to be confused, I didn't mean to be with you.
And when you said I scared you, well I guess you scared me too.
But if it's love you're looking for, then I can give a little more
And if you're somewhere drunk and passed out on the floor,
Oh, Joey I'm not angry anymore...angry anymore...
1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Did a stint as a stay-at-home mom. Very interesting.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't remember making any, but I did resolve this year to be kinder and gentler to people in thought, word and deed. So far it's been a good mindset to remember.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes! Jen and I both gave birth to beautiful baby girls, and we are waiting on Finn and Baby M (both of unknown gender) to make their appearances this spring. Sharing pregnancy with a girlfriend is an amazing and wonderful thing.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, I don't think so. It was a good year in that respect.
5. What countries did you visit?
Unfortunately, no international travel this year. Mom and Sis went to Ireland, though!
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A really awesome triathlon season. Boy did I ever miss training and competing -- more than I ever thought I would.
7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
January: girls' weekend in Chicago w/Kate & Sooz, saw Buddy Guy in concert
Mother's Day: found out I was pregnant
July 2nd: met John Mayer in person (Milwaukee Summerfest show)
July 3rd: St. Louis JM show
July 17-21st: Girls' weekend in Chicago w/the JM girls; JM Chicago show on the 18th.
August 30-31: Final two JM shows in Florida, road-tripping with Jen
September 8: The Girl's first day of school!
December 17: took a big fall on the ice on my way to school. (I'll tell this story later.)
December 29-30: induction and birth of Baby Bean.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Honestly? 2008 was a real year of transition for me. I think I had a lot of achievements, from massive improvement of my grades, to coming to terms with my parents' divorce and my relationship with my father, to finally getting the family on a budget so we could live without my part time job.
I also feel like my second birth experience vindicated my first, even though it turned out nothing like I thought it would.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Keeping the house decluttered. Honestly...I have laundry and general cleaning down pat. Clutter...just keeps growing like kudzu around here.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Pregnancy is not an illness...but I did have my fair share of ups and downs with this one, including dizzy flashes and serious exhaustion. I took a fall about two weeks before the Bean was born and I don't think I've ever experienced that much consistent pain in my life.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Plane tickets and concert tickets for five (FIVE!) JM summer tour shows.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
The MN voter recount committee. They are doing a hell of a job in deciding the Senate race between Coleman and Franken. Here's to the process at work!
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Sadly, the same as last year: the Bush administration. Thank GOD they are gone and we can get back to the real work of America.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Target! (No really... Target, summer tour travel and probably hospital bills, once they start rolling in.)
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Meeting John Mayer and traveling/meeting new friends. My friends are easily the best benefit of being a JM fan.
16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
"Gravity" by Sara Barielles. For many, many reasons.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Much happier.
b) thinner or fatter? About the same, which is miraculous considering I was pregnant. Be gone, baby weight!
c) richer or poorer? About the same. Probably slightly richer, although that's more likely due to gas prices returning to normal than anything else...
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Things with the Girl during the summertime. We're going to have to make a concerted effort to get out of the house more when school is out, even with the baby.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Complain, argue and feel sorry for myself. Life's too short.
20. How did you spend Christmas? On the couch, almost immobile and recovering from finals. Also preparing for the baby's arrival.
21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Absolutely and without question.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Weeds! We Netflix'ed the first 3 seasons and hello! Awesome!
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Hate is a strong word. I don't hate anyone. I did lose a friend this year, to a stupid and petty argument. I want to make amends, but need to figure out how.
24. What was the best book you read?
Hmmm... didn't get to read much this year, but I'll bite and say "Shadow Cities." Any book that mentions flying toilets gets a big thumbs up!
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Matt Nathanson! (Thanks, Jen!) Possibly re-discovering Jim Croce. Pandora overall rocks pretty hard. And Keri Noble is amazing.
26. What did you want and get?
A healthy baby, a lot of John Mayer, and a new car. (Heinrich!)
27. What did you want and not get?
To do a triathlon and get more in shape.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
I don't know if I had one! I saw a lot of movies -- mostly of the kid variety, though.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Went to Red Robin and had a bowling party!! (I was 31.)
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Dean's List and a scholarship.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Clearance rack at Motherhood Maternity!
32. What kept you sane?
My counselor, and having a Summer of Awesome. I needed the time and the perspective, and it made everything so, so much better.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
A-duh. And I got to meet him this year too!!
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Equality in marriage. For everyone.
35. Who did you miss?
Jordana.
36. Who was the best new person you met? Can I have more than one? The JM Chicago girls! (Jen, Allison, Geneva, Linda, Amanda and Monica), and Cait and Mara. 2008 was fantastic for friend-making.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
It's NEVER too late to let go and start over. And you never know what form or shape that will take.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Joey, baby - don't get crazy
Detours, fences, I get defensive
I know you've heard it all before, so I don't say it anymore
I just stand by and watch you fight your secret war.
Although I used to wonder why, I used to cry 'til I was dry.
Still sometimes I get a strange pain inside,
Oh, Joey, if you're hurting so am I.
Joey, honey - I got some money.
All is forgiven; listen, listen...
And if I seem to be confused, I didn't mean to be with you.
And when you said I scared you, well I guess you scared me too.
But we got lucky once before, and I don't wanna close the door;
And if you're somewhere out there passed out on the floor,
Oh Joey, I'm not angry anymore.
And if I seem to be confused, I didn't mean to be with you.
And when you said I scared you, well I guess you scared me too.
But if it's love you're looking for, then I can give a little more
And if you're somewhere drunk and passed out on the floor,
Oh, Joey I'm not angry anymore...angry anymore...
Hospital #8: Afterbirth
I know I said I was going to try and get the final info up last night, but you know. The last thing my husband was going to let me do was get online -- and quite frankly, we needed a little time to ourselves. We had a good evening, I'm off the IV and the catheter, and for the first time in about 24 hours, I'm feeling vaguely human again.
My husband has gone home for a few hours to shower, change clothes, catch a nap and begin to recover his own humanity. It looks like a beautiful day outside -- lots of sun and warmth, despite the cold.
Oh, speaking of beautiful things...
World, meet The Bean.
By the numbers:
December 30, 2008
5:38PM
10 lb, 4 oz
20.5 inches long
APGAR scores: 8 and 9
Brown hair, blue eyes, and the absolute spitting image of her paternal grandfather and great-grandmother (who greatly favored each other). I have no idea where she got the full head of brown hair -- her older sister favored my family in that respect -- we were all baldies with no more than towheaded peachfuzz until age 2.
She has a number of things in common with her older sister: they are both Capricorns, they both seem feisty and are champion breastfeeders. They share the same long, thin piano fingers and the same freaky monkey toes. They have differences too; where her older sister had an altimeter at birth and preferred to be walked and swayed, this baby seems to like a swaddle and a close cuddle.
I'll write the full recap of the birth in a little while, I think. Right now, I need to go down to the nursery and meet with the on-call pediatrician for the daily check. So far, her numbers are perfect and she's in the best of health.
And I'm in love.
Can't you tell?
My husband has gone home for a few hours to shower, change clothes, catch a nap and begin to recover his own humanity. It looks like a beautiful day outside -- lots of sun and warmth, despite the cold.
Oh, speaking of beautiful things...
World, meet The Bean.
By the numbers:
December 30, 2008
5:38PM
10 lb, 4 oz
20.5 inches long
APGAR scores: 8 and 9
Brown hair, blue eyes, and the absolute spitting image of her paternal grandfather and great-grandmother (who greatly favored each other). I have no idea where she got the full head of brown hair -- her older sister favored my family in that respect -- we were all baldies with no more than towheaded peachfuzz until age 2.
She has a number of things in common with her older sister: they are both Capricorns, they both seem feisty and are champion breastfeeders. They share the same long, thin piano fingers and the same freaky monkey toes. They have differences too; where her older sister had an altimeter at birth and preferred to be walked and swayed, this baby seems to like a swaddle and a close cuddle.
I'll write the full recap of the birth in a little while, I think. Right now, I need to go down to the nursery and meet with the on-call pediatrician for the daily check. So far, her numbers are perfect and she's in the best of health.
And I'm in love.
Can't you tell?
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